Not Just Another Day - The BeginningOf What?
by guiltypleasures48
Summary: John and Joss pre Atlantic City. M for now but will change to strong M. I do not own Person of Interest, nor music titles/groups mentioned.
1. Chapter 1

The Beginning…of What?

 **A/N: These next chapters precede the rekindling of John's and Joss's relationship in Atlantic City. There are hints about their third and final breakup – the one that almost did them in as a couple. I will be sure to let you know when the story will switch back to the Atlantic City setting. But for now, let's fill in some blanks in their story.**

 _What the fuck was he doing here?_ John thought. And with Zoe no less, whom he had had no intention of seeing again. John and Zoe had an "arrangement" that was mutually beneficial, one that had started years before, when she became a "number". If he were being completely honest, the times they got together were totally enjoyable to him. She was a wet and willing partner, up for almost anything. But after that stunt she pulled over the last Christmas Holiday, John had ended it – permanently this time. Before that he had turned to Zoe many times, out of habit more than anything else. Zoe knew about his feelings for Joss and didn't seem to care. So it was clearly up to him to put an end to things with Zoe.

 _What the hell had he been thinking?_

Zoe had called him 3 days ago, pleading and cajoling him to be her plus 1 at a huge event thrown once a year by the Brazilian and Argentinian consulates. _Great food, great music, dancing,_ she'd promised. "I know you can't dance, John, but maybe we can figure out something equally as enjoyable for you to do with me instead", she purred. John really hadn't cared about _any_ of that. But he had been tired of the weekend nights alone, missing Joss, the emptiness in his soul threatening to overwhelm him. _It was his own damn fault_ , he thought.

Still on the phone with Zoe that night, he had remembered that this past year was a jumble of fits and starts between Joss and him. He had left her, three times, attempting each time to cut her out of his life to keep her safe. After all, he was but a walking dead man, with no future, and with a past that was toxic to anyone he held dear. Twice, Joss took him back. Thinking about all of this, he'd sighed and informed Zoe that he would be her date. "Plus one only, Zoe. No games", he'd said.

"Of course", she'd replied, certain that she could change his mind once they got together. After arranging to meet at the event, they'd ended the call. So here he was nursing his drink, in a penguin suit (a bespoke Brioni, but a penguin suit nonetheless).

Zoe was on the dance floor again, this time with their tablemate Sebastian Almeida, the Argentinian/Brazilian artist, whose work was known worldwide. He had been in town for 6 months or so, originally for an installation of a commissioned sculpture, but had decided to remain indefinitely, according to him. John resumed his thoughts of Joss – about how he'd behaved badly toward her and then, the big and final break up on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. He had spent 4 days after refusing her calls; after that, she refused his. It was now mid-May and here he sat.

But not for much longer, he decided. John had done his duty as the attentive plus 1, accompanying Zoe around the spacious ballroom, listening to her as she chatted with colleagues and business associates, as she promised dances, and set up business meetings. Smiling at being the butt of her jokes about his dancing ability, consenting to her dances with various and sundry partners. He would leave the limo for Zoe and take an Uber home where he should have stayed. He had had no attention of sleeping with Zoe again though it was clear she was angling for a private after party. Hell, his bad judgment with Zoe was one of the reasons why he was without Joss and miserable in the first place.

Zoe and Sebastian returned to the table and Sebastian, ever the gentleman, seated her. The artist had asked John's permission to cha cha with Zoe ad John had again nodded his head in consent. John sipped his champagne and tuned in to the conversation Zoe was having with her cha-cha partner. She had been flirting shamelessly with the man all evening and Sebastian would glance at John uncomfortably as Zoe would stroke his arm. She actually touched his face at one point! John smirked. Little did he care – Zoe could screw the guy in the middle of the ballroom if she wanted, though he might delay his departure to watch. John half-heartedly listened.

"I haven't seen you on Page 6 lately Sebastian", Zoe noted. "Where have you been hiding?

"Not hiding", he smiled. 'I met someone."

"Hmm, must be someone pretty special", she remarked.

"She is", Sebastian replied. I met her Valentine's Day at a private showing of some of my most recent work. She was breath taking. It's a funny story really. I saw her standing in front of the gallery staring into the windows. She wasn't moving -just standing there. I was intrigued, so I sat in the car and watched. I thought that she was probably waiting for someone. But suddenly, it started to rain and when she still didn't move, I jumped out of the car and opened my umbrella, holding it over her. Then we were both standing there staring into the gallery. I finally looked down at her and at the same time she looked at me, She had the softest eyes and the face of an angel. I was speechless but I was finally able to ask her if she was going in…"

 _I don't know – haven't decided yet._

 _You came to see the exhibit, no?_

 _Yes._

 _So why not go in?_

 _It's Valentine's Day and I don't know if I can take all those loving couples and the PDA._

 _PDA?_

 _Public displays of affection._

 _Oh, I see. Well there's a bar next door. Let's get out of this rain while you decide._

 _Aren't you going to the exhibit?_

 _I was – I am, but there's time for that later. Let's get out of this weather. My friends call me Maxim, by the way._

"We went in and spent the next hour talking. Just talking. I found her fascinating – a breath of fresh air. I suggested that we attend the exhibit together – that way, the couples thing might not be as much of a bother. She reluctantly agreed, saying that she so loved the artist's work and really did want to see the new pieces.

"I said that the artist was OK, but not my favorite by any stretch. She actually defended my work to me…brilliantly I might add. She clearly got my artistic vision. So we left the bar, and no sooner than we entered the gallery, the curator ran up, called me by name and expressed relief that I'd arrived.

"She gave me this look of extreme displeasure and I thought she was going to bolt and run, so I quickly explained that my full name Is Maximiliano Sebastian Armando Almeida, but my friends do call me Maxim. Once she was over the shock and anger we had a good laugh and she allowed me to escort her around the gallery.

"It was one of the best nights of my life, walking with her, showing her my favorites, explaining why. She showed me her favorites as well. I hated for the night to end. I found her to be intelligent, accomplished, sexy, articulate, beautiful-"

"And not here", Zoe interrupted.

"She'll be here…one minute, this might be her." Sebastian lifted the cell from his pocket and stood. " _Mi amor_ …yes, yes, good, I will meet you at the entrance."

"She's here." Sebastian excused himself and left the table. Zoe looked at his retreating back appreciatively, as did most of the other women who were nearby. Indeed, Sebastian filled out his Tom Ford tux very nicely. He was at least 6'3, strong and lean, broad shouldered, narrow waist. His brown hair had natural gold highlights and was pulled back in a messy man bun that set off his sparkling hazel eyes and full lips. He had a slash through his left eyebrow, and a soul patch on his otherwise clean-shaven face. The whole package gave him an attractive air of intensity and a bad boy vibe that Zoe found extremely attractive.

Sebastian hurried to the entrance. Once he arrived there, John saw him lean down, but he couldn't see his date, the crush of people too deep around them. After a few moments, John spotted Sebastian at the dais, seemingly introducing her to the consulates general and ministers. But his date remained just out of sight.

John turned to Zoe. "Listen Zoe, once they get back to the table, I am calling it a night."

"Oh but John", Zoe pouted, "I am having such a good time."

John quickly replied, "You can stay. In fact, I'd rather you did. I will leave you the car, but I'm going home."

"I thought we were having a nightcap", she reminded him, while sliding her hand over his thigh.

"I thought I made it clear that WE weren't having anything of the sort", he reminded her, removing her hand.

Before Zoe could respond, Sebastian appeared at the table, his date in tow. "My friends", may I present…"

"Welllll….hello Joss", said Zoe, recognizing that the evening just became more interesting.

 **A/N Finally! The beginning to Not Just Another Day. So John cuts Zoe off, then out of loneliness and boredom steps out with her again, even if his intentions were honorable. Stay tuned. Next part coming soon! As always, keep reading and please review!**


	2. Chapter 2 Just Desserts

_John had been glaring at Zoe in defiance but at the mention of Joss's name, he snapped his head toward her and stood, hurriedly. "Joss", he said, grabbing her hand and kissing the back of it valiantly. "It's so good to see you." A look of pleasant surprise graced his handsome face._

Joss didn't answer either of them but offered a weak smile. She allowed Sebastian to seat her, rewarding him with a warm smile. Sebastian kissed her cheek and she patted his jaw, apologizing to him for her lateness. Joss's outward appearance hid the turmoil that bubbled up at the sight of John and Zoe, of all people. The bastard still looked good and she hated the affect he still on her.

"So you three know each other", Sebastian said.

"Yes", answered Zoe. "We work together on occasion. How have been, Joss?"

"Very well, thanks", Joss answered, with an adoring glance at Sebastian. Turning to him, she described her day. "I caught two cases early then another just before I left. Had to stick around and wait for someone to cover for me. Then I rushed home to shower and change and I came straight here after. Thank you for sending your car."

"Don't mention it. Have you eaten?"

Joss shook her head no.

"I will get you something from the kitchen."

"No need. I'm fine."

"I insist. I will be right back." Sebastian kissed her cheek again, whispered something in her ear and took off. Once Sebastian departed, Zoe asked John to get her a drink from the bar. "Scotch rocks please?" John glowered at her, not wanting to leave Joss for a second. He offered to get a drink for Joss and she declined, so he stood and stalked toward the bar, garnering his own share of appreciative glances.

"Well, Joss, you made quite the catch. I'm jealous", Zoe said.

"I don't see why you would be", Joss said. "You have who you wanted."

"I do, don't I? And I must say these past 6 months have been heaven. We were in the Bahamas, Paradise Island, over the holidays, and let me tell you, there is nothing like John, fireworks, and the beach on New Year's Eve. I am still finding sand. And Valentine's Day? OMG, as long as it has been for us, he still finds ways to rock my world. We were fucking each other so hard before this event, I didn't think we'd be able to make it. In fact, have a listen. I accidentally left my phone on. Imagine my surprise…Too bad there's no video, though." Zoe winked in triumph.

Joss furrowed her brows as Zoe picked up her cell, punched a few numbers and passed it to Joss conspiratorially. Joss reluctantly took the phone and placed it to her ear. What she clearly heard was people banging the hell out of each other. A woman moaning, a man groaning, he exclaiming "Oh God" quietly forceful, she quietly demanding "Fuck me" in a harsh whisper. Then she heard Zoe's voice, louder, as clear as day, growling "Let me suck your cock", then sheets rustling, followed by flesh slapping, deep aggressive sucking sounds, then again, a man moaning deeply. After a brief moment or two of this, she heard a wet slurp, then Zoe again, "You know how I love to suck your cock, John". Then the sucking sounds started up again followed by more grunting and groaning.

Joss was…she didn't know what the hell she was, but she kept her game face, knowing that Zoe was trying to get a rise out of her. She wouldn't give the bitch the satisfaction, taking the high road instead.

Mercifully, John arrived with Zoe's drink. Joss then handed the phone back to Zoe and said, "I am glad for the two of you." John looked at Zoe questioningly and she murmured, "Girl stuff." John wasn't at all convinced, but just then Sebastian arrived with a small plate of food.

Joss was quite hungry, and polished off the meal in no time. By this time, the music was still going full blast and the dance floor was crowded. The live band playing right now was Alex Wilson. Moving his head in time to the music, Sebastian spoke. "Tell me detective, do you salsa?"

Grinning, Joss answered, "I believe the question is do YOU salsa?"

"What's this? A challenge? I never back down from a challenge." Sebastian stood, took Joss's hand and off they went.

John wanted to question Zoe about what transpired while he was getting Zoe a drink, but she went on the offensive. "I thought you were anxious to leave", she said, not so much a question as an accusation.

He ignored her, preferring to look more closely at Joss's dress. He got a good look at part of it when she first sat at the table. It was a silver sequined bodysuit with a low sweetheart neckline, spaghetti straps, and a sheer chiffon lavender one shoulder drape. The top of the drape dipped low, completely exposing the top of the bodysuit and fell in soft gathers. John could now see that the gathers fell just at her hips. In the back, the drape was split all the way up past Joss's bottom. The back of the bodysuit dipped low also and there was a glittering crystal rosette keeping the pieces of the drape in place, but as she walked, the split bared the back of her gorgeous legs. He wondered if Sebastian bought the dress for her and fumed at the thought. Though the gown was bold, it certainly was not out of bounds for the occasion. Joss looked absolutely amazing, from her chin length hair, falling loose in deep waves, to her 3 inch strappy heels. John couldn't look away.

Four magnificently danced salsas later, Sebastian and Joss started back for the table. Joss was laughing and Sebastian was beaming with pride at her skill. That last Salsa was Cubana and Joss was surprised by Sebastian's moves on the dance floor. "Now something for our younger Brazilian compatriots", the DJ announced and a club mix of Adele with a funky Brazilian rhythm started. The pair looked at each other, scoffed at a group of young people standing nearby, and danced themselves back on to the dance floor.

John was watching all this with great interest. Joss was a beautiful dancer. At one point she grabbed the skirt of her gown and swirled it high, baring her legs to the top of her thighs. John was entranced by her every move. And the way her gown glittered and flowed on the dance floor!

Zoe on the other hand was watching John with great interest. "Clearly not so anxious to leave now are you?", she started again. John curled his lip in a warning snarl.

Joss and Sebastian started to cha cha. About halfway through the number John asked, "Isn't that what you were supposed to be dancing with Sebastian a while ago?", feigning ignorance at the insult to Zoe's dancing ability.

"Well at least I CAN dan…", but before she could complete the sentence, Joss and Sebastian arrived back at the table. Joss was breathlessly fanning herself. "I better up my cardio if I am going to keep up with you", she said.

Sebastian looked at her warmly. "You don't have to up anything…"

The pair sat and Sebastian poured water for them, offering some to John and Zoe who declined, then signaling for another pitcher. "So, Joss", Sebastian said. "Is salsa your favorite dance?"

"Actually no. You'll never guess what is", she responded.

Sebastian looked at Joss expecting an answer to the question.

"Three guesses, she said. "Then I'll tell you."

"Salsa."

"No, silly."

"Cha Cha."

"No."

"Waltz."

Joss laughed. "I do like the Viennese Waltz, but no."

"Tell", he demanded.

"Ballet."

John huffed, thinking _I knew that._ Furthermore, he did not like the ease of the exchange between Almeida and Joss one bit.

"Really?"

"Yes, I took lessons from age 3 up to about 15."

"Why did you stop?", Sebastian asked, greatly curious.

"I quit so that my mama wouldn't go to jail", Joss said matter of factly.

"What? I don't understand", Sebastian said.

Joss sipped more water. "Ballet is very competitive. By the teens, if you are serious, and I was, it is time to begin auditioning and looking for a company. So I began auditioning. It's tough enough just being a teen, but layer the rejection on top of the teenage angst. I can handle rejection, she said, shooting a sly look at John and Zoe. But worse was that the rejection was for things over which I had no control – too short, not who they had in mind, didn't fit the line…yada yada yada. At my last audition, the director said that my technique was brilliant, my lines were amazing, and if I would consider plastic surgery, he would love to have me."

 _Plastic surgery? John couldn't believe his ears._

Sebastian asked the same question – he apparently couldn't believe his ears either.

"Yes", Joss said. "Lip, breast, and butt reduction, and skin lightening. My Mom went off in there. The director actually thought he was being constructive. But I love the dance, I love to dance, so I began training in other genres, Latin, African, Middle Eastern, club, ballroom…"

"Your mom is a woman after my own heart. My mom knows about that type of treatment, too", Sebastian said earnestly. "All the years she and my dad competed on the international stage they never got their due." At the question in Joss's eyes, he added, "Christina Mendez and Armando Almeida."

"I know them – they're your Mom and Dad?! Oh my God!", Joss exclaimed. "I modeled much of my styling after your mom's movements. Her classic sensuality was fire on the dance floor. That explains your dancing, certainly. But you didn't follow in their footsteps?"

"No, that was not the creative medium I selected. But I still had to learn – we all did, but they let us make our own choices at the end. My parents still run a dance academy and occasionally perform ay showcase events in Europe, Asia and the Americas. But at the time, being one of the few Latin competitors and my mom built the way she was…you know the rest."

Joss nodded. "I adore them."

'You could tell them that yourself if you'd come home with me over Christmas as I asked. The whole family returns for two weeks every year. My grandparents even fly in from Spain."

"Maxim, we have discussed this before. As much as I would love to, I can't. I have my Mom and Taylor."

"Bring them. There's plenty of room at the villa. And we will discuss this until you say yes", Sebastian said, gently touching Joss's nose with his forefinger to make his point. "I'll bring in the big guns and put you on the phone with Madre. Once she hears you are a dancer and love her work, she'll come and get you herself. I have told her how special you are to me and besides, I have never taken anyone home before. She and Padre are most anxious to meet you."

By this time, both Zoe and John were bristling out of sheer jealousy, although John's was tinged with outrage that Sebastian was stealing (had stolen) what was his.

Not able to contain herself, Zoe interjected as if Joss had been speaking to her in the first place, "But ballet Joss? Even you have to admit that you don't see any ballerinas who look like you." Zoe had apparently missed the core, direction, and point of the discussion in her anger.

Joss fixed Zoe with a look that could melt diamonds. "And just what the hell is that supposed to m…" but before she could finish her sentence, John loudly slammed his palms onto the table, jumped up, and asked Sebastian's permission to dance with Joss. Sebastian had barely assented before John was tearing around the table, pulling Joss out of her chair and rushing with her to the dance floor, leaving a confused Sebastian and pissed off Zoe behind.

The music had switched to tango and Solo Tango was providing the music. Joss, still totally annoyed at Zoe for the last insult and at Zoe and John for being Zoe and John, snapped at him. "What do you think you are doing?" John didn't answer but put his hands at her waist and pulled her flush against him in one swift strong motion, his mouth dangerously close to hers. She glared at him, hard.

"No talking during tango", he finally snapped back. Clearly about to lead a sensual tango, John pressed her down and away from him, and Joss obediently and slowly extended one leg gracefully behind her, foot angled, her arms bent in a graceful arc but not touching John, who slowly pulled her up and against him in preparation for the tango embrace, his movement matching the rhythm of Pugliese's Zum.

Then with his right hand still rested at her waist, he lifted his left. John, brooding, looked at his elegantly raised hand, then at Joss, as if commanding her to take it and at the same time daring her not to. She finally put her hand in his, he lowered his face to hers and the dancing began.

John danced with Joss through several songs, mostly old tango standards such as La Bordona, Chique, Pobre Flor, La Peregrinacion, Sacale Punta, Gallo Ciego. He was a wonderful lead, incorporating advanced tasteful lifts, embellishments, leg wraps, drama and pauses into his excellently executed technical movements. Their dancing was magical and neither of them heard the spontaneous applause of appreciation from the audience sprinkled throughout the John and Joss tango show. They also did not notice fewer and fewer couples on the dance floor.

After a sexy narcotango danced to a recorded piece, Joss made to leave the dance floor with most of the other dancers, then the plaintive strains of a bandoneon could be heard. John quickly grabbed Joss's hand. "Just one more", he begged. "Please Joss." He gave her a half smile. "It's Oblivion."

Joss signed heavily and made ready for the tango embrace. John slowly put his arms around her. He held her close, while leading her again through advanced but understated movements this time, dancing face to face, front to back, and promenade. He caressed her intimately at her belly, along her leg, her back, her neck, and at one time, trailing his hand over her shoulder and resting it in between her breasts when they were dancing front to back, not caring about Almeida, Zoe, or anyone – noone except the warm fragrant softness of Joss.

By this time, there were only 8-10 couples remaining on the huge dance floor. Some couples danced as lovers, some danced as star crossed lovers, some danced as two people who were trying their way back to each other, yet others danced with longing and regret. But each couple danced with emotion that spilled out across the ballroom.

Back at the table, Zoe was about to explode. _Why is he touching her like that? Why does she have one leg hooked at his hip? Why has he nuzzled his face at her neck? Why are their eyes closed_? _Is he copping a feel in front of these people?_ Zoe glanced around the ballroom and saw several of the couples she had spoken with earlier looking at her and grinning.

Halfway through Oblivion, Sebastian leaned across their table to Zoe and said, "Didn't you tell me that John couldn't dance?"

Zoe pretended she didn't hear the question and continued to breathe fire.

For John, the song ended too quickly, for Joss, not quickly enough. The last note had barely sounded when she pulled out of John's arms, got her bearings and headed back to the table, but not before saying to him, "I hate you – stay away from me." And in those moments, she did hate him – hated that he looked so good, smelled so good, felt so good. Hated that he was with Zoe. John remained on the floor for a few moments, calling after her quietly, then he too, headed quickly back. _It's almost like the airport all over again_ , he thought to himself, only this time he was the one asking to be wanted.

At the table, Sebastian stood when Joss arrived, but instead of taking her seat, Joss put her hands on his shoulders, pushed at him to sit, then plopped down into his lap. He dutifully placed one hand around her waist and rested the other in her lap. John sat dejectedly, wondering how to get just a few moments to talk with Joss alone.

"Maxim, I was thinking. If I can arrange it, how about we leave for San Francisco Wednesday night instead of Thursday night? That'll give us an extra day and you won't be tired for all your business meetings on Friday."

 _Wait…What?!San Francisco, John thought. No!_

Sebastian nodded his head, considering her offer.

Joss stroked his cheek. "We can spend Thursday however you'd like, doing anything you want."

 _No, No, NOOO!, John thought._

Sebastian smiled wickedly. "Anything? How about…", and he whispered in Joss's ear.

"Oooh, yes", she responded.

 _NOOOO!_ John's thoughts were so loud, he was convinced Joss could hear him.

"And…", Sebastian whispered again.

"Behave…", Joss warned playfully.

"Seriously, I'll make the arrangements and let you know what time", Sebastian said. He and Joss kissed and she leaned back resting her head on his shoulder.

John didn't think so before, but now he knew without a doubt. They were sleeping together and he hated it! Joss was sleeping with Almeida! Panic overtook him, along with anger, regret, and fear. But John didn't get a chance to figure out what to do next because Almeida, wearing a half smile, addressed him – in Spanish.

["John. Tu Tango es muy experto. Vi por lo menos 4 estilos diferentes y tu milonga fue una que se baila en una zona remota de Argentina. ¿Has estado en el campo?"]

Your Tango is very expert. I saw at least 4 different styles and your milonga was one that is danced in a remote area of Argentina. Have you been to the country?

John gave a half smile of his own, remembering that mission well. He was to gather intel on a corrupt high level Argentinian official, and the gentleman's wife, a talented and avid tango dancer, was his way in. She preferred fantasia tango style, with lots of drama and lifts, but enjoyed milongas as well as newer tango forms. It was a bear learning the intricacies, but he came to love and appreciate the dance that so represented the Argentinian culture. And his time with the Senora wasn't bad either.

[Lecciones privadas de una vieja novia hace años.]

I took private lessons to impress a lady years ago.

"I hope you paid your teacher well. You capture the spirit of the dance as well as the technique beautifully."

"Having Joss as a partner helped. She makes anyone look good."

Anxious to steer the conversation into another direction, Joss invited Sebastian to dance. "Want to try a classic ballroom rumba?", hoping he would say yes.

"Lead the way", he said, "but I'm a little rusty." The band was playing "Tres Palabras" and the husky contralto of the lead singer set a sensual stage.

Sebastian and Joss danced beautifully through a few songs. Then, a recorded piece, Estabas Ahí, started to play. The pair stood close. Sebastian held Joss with one hand at the back of her head, his other at his side. Their hips swayed in perfect time to the music. Near the song's end, Joss stepped out of Sebastian's arms and circled him. Facing him once again, Joss put her arms around his neck, reached up to his hair and pulled off the band that held his man-bun. His hair fell in thick heavy waves just past his shoulders, its sun-kissed highlights visible even in the mood lighting of the ballroom. She then trailed her hands from his neck, dipping to trail them down the front of his legs. Sebastian watched her with great intensity, his nostrils flaring slightly. He finally grabbed Joss's arms and pulled her up. He took her face in his hands and smiled at her in anticipation of things to come. The couple continued in this intimate embrace until the fact that the next song was playing finally registered.

Back at the table, John was immersed in a hell of his own making. All he could think about was that he was sitting there watching Joss fall in love with another man. The realization that Joss and Sebastian were sleeping together was bad enough, but this, THIS…How did things get so bad? Did he think that Joss would wait around for him forever? How could she love another man? Joss was his – no one could change that – he wouldn't allow it!

Sebastian attempted to lead Joss off the dance floor but she pulled him back. He leaned down to hear her better. "May we leave now? I am suddenly quite tired", she said.

"Of course", Sebastian responded. "We'll get your purse."

"Will you do it? And say my goodbyes?", Joss asked. "I will meet you at the coat check."

"But let's first pay our respects at the dais, then I'll get your things", responded Sebastian.

The couple walked slowly over to the dais and said their goodbyes. The dignitaries were quite taken with Joss and the Argentinian Consulate General insisted upon a tango before they left, which Joss graciously axxepted. When they arrived at the dance floor, other dancers took note and cleared the floor for them as the Consulate General was well known for his dancing ability. He adjusted his cufflinks, took Joss's hand and spun her away from him, walking toward her to collect her for the dance. He led her flawlessly through a spirited Para Una Harmonica, to the delight of the crowd which clearly enjoyed their performance.

While Joss was dancing her final dance of the evening, Sebastian walked over to their table to retrieve Joss's purse. "Jocelyn has asked me to convey her goodnight to you both. We will be taking our leave", he offered.

John stood and shook Sebastian's hand, saying his goodnight as well, while stealing glimpses of Joss on the dance floor. Zoe offered Sebastian her hand and pressed into it her business card. "Never know when you might need to use it."

"I doubt I ever will but thank you." With that, Sebastian returned the card to Zoe. John's smirk was on full blast at the exchange. _He has more sense than I had_ , thought John.

Sebastian left the table, called for his car and waited for Joss near where she was finishing her dance. He then after a few brief words with the Consulate General (who turned out to be Sebastian's uncle by the way), took Joss's hand in his. They retrieved Joss's wrap from the coat check, then they began walking toward the door.

John rose from his seat, drained the last of his drink and said goodnight to Zoe.

"You're just going to leave me here?", Zoe asked in disbelief.

"You said you wanted to stay." John was clearly annoyed and was also in a hurry to leave.

"Yeah, well, not anymore", she said, looking around again at the guests, some of whom were looking back at her. She was certain it was because she had been telling everyone that John couldn't dance, and she accepted dance offers from and made dance offers to quite a few of the men there – some single, some boyfriends, some husbands, some lovers.

John took Zoe's hand, and they walked to the coat check to get Zoe's coat. The couple reached outdoors just in time to see Joss and Sebastian enter the backseat of his car, and once the driver was back behind the wheel, pull off.

John called for the limo, put Zoe inside and closed the door, not bothering to offer any instruction to the driver. Instead he walked to the corner, hailed an Uber which arrived in 1 minute, and that had been directed to drop its occupant at a certain brownstone in Brooklyn.

 **A/N: Is John getting what he deserves? I do feel just a teensy weensy bit sorry for him! Things will heat up considerably in the next chapter so stay tuned. Oh by the way, I used the translate feature on my software program. Can someone let me know if the Spanish translation part is accurate? Thank you in advance! And no, this isn't a sneaky way to get reviews, but please do (review, that is).**

 **By the by, if you want to see a sensual tango, google sensual tango caiazza youtube. Hugs and kisses!**


	3. Chapter 3 Breaking and Entering

Halfway to the Brooklyn brownstone, John's cell buzzed. "Call Shaw or Fusco, Finch", he rudely snapped, without an acknowledgement of any kind.

"Mr. Reese, I see that you are about to do something drastic. I have stayed out of your business with Detective Carter at your insistence, but I cannot sit by and watch you make such a colossal error. What if she and her date are there?"

"They aren't", John stated simply, suddenly wondering just how much Finch knew about Joss and her date and for how long.

"But what if they are?"

"They AREN'T", John insisted. "He's taking her to his place."

"How do you know?", asked Harold, trying another tack.

"It's what I'd do."

"So you just intend to do what –", asked Finch.

"If you want to help, you can let me know when Joss is on her way home and if she's alone. Otherwise, nice talking to you." John abruptly ended the call.

Twenty minutes later, the Uber stopped at the corner of Joss's block and its lone passenger disembarked. John scanned the area for a few moments then walked up to her front door and carefully let himself in while listening for signs of life inside. He closed the door behind him.

John noticed immediately that Joss had made a few changes since he was last here. She had completely mirrored the half wall that created the small vestibule just a few feet inside the front door. The mirror not only expanded the small space but gave her a great view behind her as she entered. John was pleased at the added security. Joss had also lengthened the wall so that it acted as a sort of privacy screen for the living area. The table was still pressed against the wall and the bowl where she typically deposited her keys was still upon it. Joss had added a small antique lamp that at that moment dimly lit the small entryway. John liked the feel of the created space.

He saw that Joss had rearranged the living area. She had separated the sectional into a sofa and love seat that faced each other over the square coffee table. _Very cozy_ , he thought. _Makes it a little more difficult to steal kisses behind the couch while Taylor was watching TV, but where there's a will there's a way._ John prayed to have a chance to test ways to solve that problem. Walking over to the fireplace, he noticed a few new family photos on the mantel, but none with Almeida. _Thank goodness for small favors, h_ e thought.

John then quietly walked upstairs going first to Taylor's room. Cracking the door open, he saw that Taylor wasn't there. He checked his watch, 12:30 a.m. _Probably at his grandmother's_ , John thought. He peeked into the small guest bedroom, then the upstairs hall bath, saving the upstairs best for last - Joss's bedroom.

He opened the door to Joss's bedroom slowly and stepped into the private place into which he had been welcome at one time. He took a deep breath – the smell of the space bringing a familiar comfort. John was inexplicably pleased that Joss had not made changes to the space – _their_ space. The bed was neatly made with a pastel duvet and matching shams. John sat of the edge of the bed, remembering the things they had done to each other in it. He lovingly ran his hands across the soft fabric, recalling how it cocooned them from the world as they lay in each other's arms.

Joss's work clothes had been hastily tossed. Some of the things landed in the chair, others on the floor. He smiled at the thought of her rushing in to shower and dress for the gala this evening, but then he remembered that it was someone else she was rushing to and he scowled deeply. He spotted her underwear, reached over and lifted it from the chair - a pair of pale tangerine colored lacy thongs. John specifically recalled the matching bra. He smiled to himself, thinking about how he had convinced her of the benefits of trading her sensible underwear for the little nothings in which he loved her – literally. John crumpled the skimpy material in his hand, raising it to his nose. He inhaled deeply. Joss's smell was unique and it never failed to cause his body to react immediately, just as it did now.

He stood quickly and tucked the panties into his pants pocket. John skipped Joss's closet and next stalked to the en suite bath, where a wet bath towel was haphazardly thrown across the top of the hamper. He took his time examining Joss's toilette articles stationed on the bathroom vanity, sniffing each – experiencing the various smells as if they had already interacted with Joss's body's chemistry.

John started to bypass the dresser, but decided instead to have quick look in her panty drawer. He was dismayed to discover several new expensive lingerie sets, one or two still with tags. _Gifts from Almeida probably_ , John frothed. _And her vibrator was missing too!_ John now regretted going into Joss's dresser and returned to her bed to sit and settle himself into a more pleasant state.

It wasn't long before wistful moments returned, so he finally headed back downstairs to the kitchen. John opened the refrigerator and observed takeout boxes of leftover pad thai, pizza and a few other things that were unrecognizable. _Of course she wasn't cooking_ , John thought. _Between work and Almeida, when would she have time to cook a decent meal for Taylor and herself?_ John huffed angrily because he had spoken to her time and time again about taking better care of herself. She needed to be sharp at all times – the streets were unforgiving. He would know.

John reached to the back of the fridge and pulled out an unopened bottle of red wine. Getting a wine glass, he passed the dining area and made for the living room… to wait.

John's CIA training elevated the wait to an art form. Waiting, in fact was the most difficult part of many of his assignments. The anticipation, the adrenaline rush, the pressure, the uncertainty, the butterflies, the angst, the fear. John felt all these things and could handle every one of them with the cool aplomb of a professional. But thoughts – it was the thoughts that were doing him in – _Joss was with Almeida_. _What were they doing?_ _He knew what they were doing._ _He was touching her, entering her,_ _stroking her…._

John poured himself a healthy glass of wine and sat at one end of the couch, making certain he was out of view from the front door. Sweat beaded on his forehead. He took off his tuxedo jacket, removed his diamond cufflinks and set them on the table. He downed the glass of wine, poured another then checked his watch, 1:20 a.m.

 _Meanwhile at a Gramercy Park Condo –_

A naked Joss extricated herself from Sebastian's arms, gathered her clothing and slipped into the bathroom to quickly shower. She emerged, fully dressed, 16 minutes later. At first she thought to leave Sebastian a note, but decided instead to wake him. There was no need, however, as Sebastian was awake and slightly smiling at her as she approached the bed.

Joss stroked his face and smoothed the hair away from his handsome face. "Hey baby", she purred. . Sebastian opened his mouth in preparation for the kiss that he knew was coming. When it arrived, it was long, deep and searing.

"Hey yourself", he responded, after. "I had hoped you would stay the night."

"I had planned to", Joss said, "but I have to go in now because of the cases."

"Are you certain that's the reason? We've been sleeping together now for 2 months and you have not yet spent the night with me. I want to wake up to you, cook you breakfast", he said, pressing kisses to her face and neck.

"But-"

"Yes, I know, the walk of shame thing. But you could bring clothes. If you stay tonight, I will have Diego pick up something for you. I promise I will be a good boy", said Sebastian, giving Joss more kisses.

"We will have 3 nights together in San Francisco. I promise, you will be tired of me by the time we are back."

Still not satisfied, but accepting her decision, Sebastian swung his long legs over the side of the bed. "I don't agree, but just give me a minute and I'll take you home."

"You go back to bed - I'll get an Uber", Joss insisted.

"I won't hear of it – at least I will have Diego take you, then." Sebastian grabbed his phone, spoke to his driver, kissed Joss again, and murmured, " I cannot wait until Wednesday."

"Neither can I", Joss agreed.

"We'll talk tomorrow, or is it today", smiled Sebastian.

"Yes", laughed Joss. "Now rest." She rose from Sebastian's bedside and exited the condo.

 _Back at the Brownstone…_

John felt as if it were 100 degrees in there. He knew it was his mind again – the temperature isn't real, he kept repeating to himself. But he couldn't deny that his body's reaction to the perceived heat certainly was. He untucked his shirt from his pants and unbuttoned it completely. Then he stood, ran his fingers through his hair impatiently and paced the living room. He couldn't turn on the TV – the light would be visible from the street.

After pacing for a while, he sat back on the couch, drained his second glass of wine and poured a third. Thoughts of Joss and Almeida were still raging through him. His heart racing, John quickly pulled off his shoes and socks, then dug his toes into the plush area rug under the coffee table. He found that activity to be comforting so he kept that up until his heartbeat was under control. John took deep calming breaths, as images of Almeida and Joss assailed him. He breathed into the images, allowing the sickening feelings to wash over him in waves. That is how he sat until he heard a key in the lock of the Joss's front door. John checked his watch – 2:15 a.m. and he stilled and steeled himself for what would surely follow – a situation for which he had no plan.

 **A/N: So now our vigilante has turned into** _ **creepier**_ **John! Stealing panties?! I struggled with whether to include the Taylor – John-Sebastian bit, but I figured that it hadn't been long for Taylor and Sebastian, and imagined that John was busy and hadn't seen Taylor as frequently, as might happen given John's job. I also didn't think Taylor would spill the beans on Joss to either man, because a), he wants to see his Mom happy, and b), Taylor was loving his life at that time. Writing is not without risk, my friends, eh? (smile) What do you think about the Johari window of relationships among Taylor, John, and Sebastian?**

 **I hope you are enjoying this tale. Let me know! Hugs and kisses!**


	4. Chapter 4 She Never Said a WordUntil

_**A/N: This Chapter is a very, very (and did I say VERY?) strong M!**_

John stood and hastily finished his glass of wine. He listened intently as the enterer opened and closed the door, then closed the few steps to the table and dropped keys into the bowl. _It was Joss and she was alone_. John breathed a sigh of relief. He paused, listening further for her footsteps which had curiously stopped.

Joss had leaned on the table, her eyes cast downward. She lifted a hand to her mouth and she stifled a yawn. "John…", she spoke his name in the softest of whispers. She had almost escaped him, was almost free of him, but this evening changed everything. The feelings welled up again, the good ones and the pain, but mostly the pain. It was almost like ripping bandages off of mortal wounds. To make matters worse, this turmoil caused her to lie to Sebastian about work and now she had to cover her tracks by going in. She shook her head in disapproval of her behavior.

After a minute or two, her movement resumed but in the direction away from John. His long strides took him around the half wall in time to see Joss's retreating back from which he stood a respectful distance, if there was such a thing given that he was in her home uninvited.

"I was right", John stated boldly. Joss swiftly turned and stepped toward the table (under which she had taped a Glock). Seeing that the intruder was John, she stopped cold and stared at him in disbelief as well as taking in his half-dressed appearance. "That lavender color – it's magnificent on you…I was right… you look stunning, Joss", he stated, approaching her as slowly and carefully and openly as he would approach a frightened deer that he was trying to rescue.

 _What was he doing here half-dressed? How long had he even been here?_ _Joss wondered._ _The nerve of him, the_ _ **nerve**_ _, after all this time._ But as much as she wanted to, she couldn't put him out. It was as if she were riveted in place, and at the same time, observing this scenario playing out between them.

Joss continued to stare and John continued to approach until he was inches away from her. Neither spoke a word. "Joss", John eventually whispered, his blue eyes open and clear in spite of the wine. "Jossie… _please_." He lowered his face to hers slowly, hoping she wouldn't stop him.

…She didn't.

As soon as his lips touched hers, heat and electricity shot through him. He leaned back, wanting more, needing more, wanting to see if she did as well. For her part, Joss reluctantly tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled him roughly back to her mouth as he slightly turned the two of them, backed her to the door and pressed his body hard against her.

"Joss", he whispered again, his hands at her shoulders, at her neck, their tongues searching, clashing. Drunk with passion, John pulled away again, eyeing Joss lustfully, watching her breasts breathlessly heaving as an indicator of her desire for him. John toyed with the fabric at the top of her gown . "You wore this for him", he said, just before he fisted the chiffon drape and body suit with both hands and with Herculean strength ripped them in two so quickly that Joss had no time to react.

As the pieces of the garment fell to the floor, John fastened his mouth to Joss's breast, sucking deeply, using one hand to knead the soft flesh at the same time. He had one arm around her waist holding her arched torso against him, while her head and shoulders rested on the wall. Joss began to writhe and twist against him and John kept sucking and kneading until Joss's mouth opened, and she loudly keened her release. John freed her captive breast from his mouth with a final lick and nip and he leaned back again, gripping Joss at the waist with both hands, his lips at her ear.

"Do you come when Almeida sucks your breast?", he questioned, looking into her eyes.

In response, Joss pushed at him so fiercely that he lost his balance and stumbled back a few steps. In that nanosecond she slapped him across the face – hard. Her eyes flashing, Joss angrily kicked out of her gown and she turned to stomp away from him. But John grabbed her arm and pulled her back into his embrace, where he held her tightly while she struggled against him, incensed.

Angry thoughts assailed her as she struggled. _Fucking bastard, damned hypocrite is what he is. Wants to know what I do after everything he's been up to with Zoe. How could he?_

"Joss…I'm sorry…I'm sorry, honey…so sorry. I didn't mean to question you like that." But they both knew he did.

John had Joss in a gentle but effective bear hug, and began to press smoldering kisses to her neck, up to her ear, her cheek, eye, tip of her nose, across her forehead, down to her other cheek, ear. By the time he found her mouth again Joss was returning his kisses with equal ardor, her hands now free and clutching and scratching at his flesh – bared during his insanity as he waited for Joss's arrival earlier. "Jossie…."

They were wildly bumping and writhing against each in heat. Somehow John pulled down his pants and boxer briefs just enough to free his throbbing cock and balls. He bent his knees, lifted Joss's leg and guided himself inside her. Both groaned at the contact – it had been so long…

John rested his forehead against hers and Joss clung to his neck, the brownstone quiet except for the sounds of flesh hitting flesh and the panting and moaning of two people who were enjoying the feelings the other was eliciting.

Wanting to be deeper, John forced himself to stop pumping and lowered Joss's leg. This time he backed himself up pulling her with him, and when his butt touched the table, he spun them around and bent Joss face down over its edge. Keeping one hand low on the small of Joss's back, he jerked off his pants and shirt so that he too was completely naked. He kicked the pile of clothing out of his way, planted his feet apart, gave his cock a few tugs and placed it at Joss's opening, using his hips to drive it home. Again inside her, John threw his head back, closed his eyes tight against the exquisite sensations and resumed thrusting into her, setting a moderate pace yet going deep at every thrust. Joss groaned, spreading her legs wider and pooching up her bottom higher so John had better access.

John was lost in her, she felt so good to him. He was good to her too – at least he tried desperately to be. Joss had said that she hated him, but in these moments she didn't. He knew she didn't. He gripped her hips, guiding her sensuous movements, her butt cradled at his groin as he continued to thrust and grind.

And it didn't take long before Joss had her second release. She screamed, her body twisted and thrashed but John continued to hold her hips tight to him while he continued thrusting deep and hard. He slowed his movements, spanked her butt cheek as she continued to writhe and tremble, groaning. John pressed wet kisses across her back and savored the taste of the sweat he encountered there. He spanked her other butt cheek then gently pulled her up until her back was pressed against him, Joss's face turned toward his shoulder.

"Shhh", he whispered, "shhh", as she continued to whimper. "It's Ok…it's alright. I feel it too… I feel it too." John craned his neck as far as he could toward her mouth and found it was just enough for several wet passionate kisses. His right hand lightly stroked her belly and abdomen, gentling her, as he nibbled and licked at her ear.

Still inside her and still rock hard, John finally loosened his grip, bent at the waist and scooped Joss up into his arms. He walked them out of the vestibule area and carried her up to her bedroom, where he deposited her on the edge of the bed and pulled the duvet covers from under her. John scooped her up again then gently laid her down in the center. He positioned her legs apart and crawled between them. John rested lightly on his forearms pressing all his weight on her. His manhood entered her easily – no hands required. At this moment, John looked deep into Joss's eyes, wanting her to know that he remembered how she loved the feel of him totally on her, totally in her, like this. As he watched her, he began to thrust again, using the power of his hips, lower back and knees to drive them both to orgasm this time.

John hadn't come yet and he desperately wanted to hang on – it felt so good.

"Joss", John moaned. He touched her face, her hair. " Baby…so good…I missed you…I have… ummmm…."

He lightly bit her lip, whispering unintelligibly. Still thrusting and grinding, John could feel Joss's swollen clit rubbing against the base of his cock and he pushed in balls deep. They both grunted in response. He shifted his weight to alternating knees causing him to dig into her more deeply. Her feet were planted on the mattress and she used her legs and hips to push back against him and circle twist when he was deepest inside. John cried out she felt so good.

"Joss…I'm coming…please…I'm coming."

Joss herself, could hold out no longer and she arched her body, spasming even as John continued to thrust. As soon as he felt her body jerking beneath him, John's release shot forth.

"Ah, ah, ah, ahhh, ugh…." John raised himself to his haunches, his head twisting from side to side, body convulsing at the sheer pleasure and force of his orgasm. He collapsed on Joss, totally supporting his weight on his forearms this time, aftershocks wracking his body as his breath hitched. He never broke eye contact with Joss during these most intimate of moments, recalling that she once told him she could see his soul when they were like this. And he desperately wanted her to see his soul and her imprint upon it.

Once the aftershocks and spasms ceased, John gave Joss a small smile and kissed her wet forehead before whispering "I still love you Joss. I never stopped." He nodded his head several times to accentuate his point. "We'll start again, OK?" He pressed more kisses to her face. "Just you and me sweetheart…" John raised her hand and kissed her fingertips. "Just us – no one else, OK? It'll be different…better…you'll see. I'll be better…I'll make it better – I love you."

He gave Joss a deep kiss and smoothed the wet hair away from her beautiful face before he moved off her and cuddled her into his arms. They lay together quietly until the familiar chill of cooling flesh over took them. John stood, covered Joss with the duvet and padded to the bathroom.

Once there, he relieved himself, flushed and walked the few steps to the vanity. John examined himself in the mirror and saw that he was still flushed from his lovemaking. He observed a few scratches on his chest where Joss had gripped him. He touched the small lines and winced at the sting, loving that she had done this to him. John turned on the faucet, splashed water on his face and neck, and grabbed a face cloth from the linen shelf. He wet it and cleaned himself. Now finished, he grabbed a fresh cloth, wet it, turned off the faucet and went back to the bedroom.

John saw her as soon as he crossed the threshold. She was lying on her back, eyes closed, tranquil, face like an angel. God help him, he wanted her again, but decided he would let her rest a bit. He gently sat on the edge of the bed, his leg crooked so that he was almost facing her. John touched the cloth to her face and as he did, she wriggled a bit away from him. John smiled, leaned over farther and touched her face again.

But this time she turned her back to him completely, moving all the way over to the other side of the bed. Before he could inquire she said, "You'd better get going. With any luck you can get back before Zoe realizes how long you've been gone."

John couldn't believe his ears. "Wait - what?"

Clearly still angry, Joss faced John and repeated, "You'd better get back to Zoe before she figures out how long you've been gone."

John sighed and hanged his head confused.

"I don't understand. Didn't you hear me? Didn't you get what I was saying to you?", he asked.

Joss turned her back to him again, thinking, _I heard you – just don't believe you, is all._ _Liar. Cheater._

John could feel the animosity rolling off her in waves, but he continued.

"Joss, look at me. I love you, crave you – I never stopped, not even for a second. I was wrong to hurt you the way I did and I am so deeply sorry. I want you so much in my life, need you. There's never been a day that I haven't wanted you.

"Oh really?", she asked, turning to face him. "Not even two days after you left me when I saw you with your tongue down Zoe's throat and in public no less. You wanted me then?"

"I called you that night", he reminded her.

"Yeah you did, after you slept with Zoe but tried to act like you didn't."

"Joss…"

"Or how about Christmas in the Bahamas? New meaning to Sex on the Beach ring a bell? She could not disguise the hurt in her voice. _The one place I told you that I really wanted to go._ _How could you?_ These _w_ ords left unsaid.

 _How does she know about that?_ John wondered. "It's not what you think, let me explain."

"Or even before the gala, when you two were going at it so hard you almost didn't make it?'

John furrowed his brows. "I didn't – "

Joss puffed. "It doesn't matter…it really doesn't. Just please, get your clothes and go."

Now slightly heated himself, john demanded, "Well then what do you call what we did just now, Joss? Hmmm? You loved me back! I didn't imagine that. What do you call it?", wating her to admit to caring even just a little.

Joss quickly responded, "A proper goodbye."

"I don't accept that", John stated firmly.

Joss began loudly fluffing and rustling the covers and plumping the pillows to make herself more comfortable, sitting up to do so, baring breasts that jostled with her exertions.

"Just leave, John. I 'm tired and I have work this morning. I need sleep."

"You're lying", he immediately retorted. "You just don't want to talk about this. Let's get it all-"

"I'm not lying", she replied. 'If I didn't have work, I would still be with Sebastian", this last spoken with venom.

John hanged his head in defeat at her last statement. Joss had lain back down, burrowed under the duvet and turned her back to him again.

"I still don't accept this Joss. It isn't over. I am not giving you up', John insisted.

Joss huffed again, loudly this time, before simply stating, "Yeah, well...you already have."

John stood, walking slowly to Joss's bedroom door, looking over his shoulder at Joss every few steps, hoping, praying she would call out to him and that they could begin to put all this anger and distrust behind them.

John descended the stairs equally slowly, and began gathering and putting on his clothes, his ears still attuned to the upstairs. He swore to himself that if he heard so much as a whimper he would rush back upstairs, drag her beneath him and keep her there until she begged him never to leave her again.

Upstairs, Joss had her hands clasped firmly at her mouth to keep from crying out for John, the pain in her heart threatening to undo her. Joss told herself that she had cried enough over him, let alone giving him the satisfaction of hearing her. But in these moments, tears ran like rain down her face. She took big gulping breaths, praying to hang on until he left.

A haphazardly dressed John stood at the front door still listening for a sign. When none came he opened the front door. Spying the remnants of Joss's torn gown, John picked them up and left the brownstone, closing the door behind him.

 _Damn, damn, damn,_ he thought as he hailed an Uber. _Destination, asked the ap?_ And he gave an address 2 blocks from the Library.

A/N: I hope you are enjoying this prequel to not Just Another Day and remember to review. Hugs!


	5. Chapter 5 Life in Pieces

Clutching the remnants of Joss's dress like a lifeline, John climbed out of the Uber and slowly walked to the library. Upon arrival, he took the stairs, which were littered with books and the pages therefrom. As soon as he reached the small vestibule that led to the makeshift office he spied Finch sitting at his desk looking at the many live computer monitors spewing forth data unintelligible to anyone but himself. John quickly checked his watch, 5:17 a.m.

"You're in early this morning", John said, gingerly.

"I might say the same about you, Mr. Reese", Finch said. "I see that you have upgraded your work attire considerably", he added after taking in John's appearance.

"I'm just coming from Joss's place after the gala. No new numbers?" He walked over to their board which was mercifully empty.

"Not at the moment Mr. Reese." After a few moments Finch said, "I take it that things did not go as you had hoped with the Detective."

John huffed. "That's an understatement.'

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Reese."

John, now seated by the windows with Joss's dress draped across his knees, looked at Finch quizzically. "Did you know?"

"Pardon?"

"About Almeida, did you know?"

"What I know, Mr. Reese, is that you insisted that I stay out of your personal affairs, and that you forbade me to discuss the Detective with you in any non-work capacity. I performed in accordance with your wishes."

"You were to keep her safe, Finch. Regardless."

"Yes, and I conducted a thorough investigation into Senor Almeida to be certain that he posed no threat to Detective Carter and that he is as he claims." Finch paused. "I did try to warn you, John."

John hanged his head, feeling pity for himself. "I know you did Finch. None of this is your fault. Sorry."

Finch glanced at the monitors and stated, "You have the detective's dress from last night."

John looked up again. "You saw her? She was magnificent in it, wasn't she?"

"Yes, John, she was. What are you going to do with it?" Finch wanted to know much more, like how John acquired the dress in the first place, and why it was in tatters in the second place, but he didn't want to press his luck.

John stood and approached Finch, dress again in hand. "It was accidentally ripped and I thought maybe you could work your magic on it." He held out the pieces of the garment which Finch gently took. "I will do my best."

"You always do, Harold, you always do. But listen, I'm going Io the back for some shut eye. You'll let me know if anything comes up?", John asked, suppressing a yawn.

"Of course, Mr. Reese. Get some rest."

With that, John turned and headed for the spare bedroom off the back hallway. Once inside he stripped off his dress shoes, jewelry, underwear and tux and hopped into the shower. He lowered his head under the jets and allowed the hot water to massage his body, burdened by worries about Jocelyn. Oh, by now, John knew that Almeida wasn't a threat to her, but he was a threat to John's very existence. A threat to be overcome and eradicated – but how? Turning off the water, he quickly dried off, pulled a fresh pair of boxer briefs from the small dresser, and collapsed into a fitful sleep onto the double bed.

Back at the computer monitors, Finch worried about his friend. The situation with Jocelyn had the potential to drive John completely off the rails. John had been there previously – Finch had seen it first hand, and he certainly did not want that for his friend again, though the present situation had been of John's making. The solution was so simple! If only Mr. Reese would allow himself to be loved for the fine deserving man that he was! Finch prayed it wasn't too late.

Several hours later, Finch knocked quietly on the doorway to John's bedroom. "We have a number, Mr. Reese."

"Be right there Finch." John quickly rose, went to the bathroom for carry out a quick toilette, then dressed in one of the standard black suits he kept there. He soon entered the office area.

"What do we have Finch?"

"Kareem Wilson-Meade, age 7. Lives with his parents in Harlem."

"He's clearly not a perpetrator. Is he in danger from his parents?"

"Not sure – perhaps you should call Detective Fusco on this one", Finch replied.

"Text me the family's address. I will call Fusco on the way." John rushed to the underground garage, selected a non-descript vehicle and headed to the Harlem address Finch sent him.

Five and a half days later, John stood near the Wilson-Meade home as Fusco wrapped up the case, brought to a successful conclusion. Turns out that the boy was targeted for kidnap by two enterprising high school students who demanded $500 for the boy's return.

As the police were preparing to leave the scene, John surreptitiously motioned to Fusco, who then met him around the corner from the home. "How's Carter?", John asked.

Fusco couldn't believe his ears. "You're kiddin' me, right? You're askin' me about Carter? You threatened me with bodily harm if I mentioned her name to you, now you're askin' me how's Carter? Wait – I get it – you must have heard about her lover boy." Fusco grinned broadly, enjoying John's obvious discomfort.

"You're supposed to be watching out for her", John snapped.

"She's my partner and my friend. I am looking out for her. Sebastian's a nice guy, he's into her and she seems happy for the first time in a long while. Carter arranged for me and Rhonda to go to a gallery with them, after I told her that Rhonda loves that artsy fartsy stuff. Drove my stock with Rhonda through the roof!" Fusco gave John a sideways grin and a wink. "You want to know how Carter is, go ask her." With that, Fusco walked away.

Furrowing his brows, John suddenly remembered that he had just enough time to see Joss before she left for San Francisco with Almeida. What could he say to her, to convince her not to go? What could he do? She had refused his calls and texts these past days. If he had angered her the night of the gala (or the morning after), that certainly wasn't his intention. He decided he would play it by ear. John left the scene and headed over to the brownstone.

Arriving at Joss's address, John took a perch across the street. It was dusk and the houselights were on. John could see movement downstairs and he figured that Joss was making final preparations for her travel. Just then, John saw Sebastian's car slowly approach. It double-parked, the driver putting on the car's flashers. The driver climbed out of the vehicle and hurriedly took the stairs to Joss's door but before he arrived, the front door was opened by a smiling Joss.

"Good evening, Edouardo", Joss said to Sebastian's chauffeur/valet.

"Good evening, Miss. Are you ready?", he replied with a smile of his own.

"Yes, my bag is right here. Is Sebastian in the car?", she asked.

"No, Miss. He was detained but will meet you at the airport."

"I see."

Just then, Joss's detective's eye spotted movement across the street. She peered into the shadows and saw John standing there, watching her. Seeing her gaze, Edouardo was about to turn his head to see what had captured her attention when Joss said, "Would you mind to check the kitchen for me? I won't rest unless the stove has been triple-checked. It's to your right."

With that, Edouardo took off and Joss resumed her stare at John. _How could he have the audacity to show up here tonight? I thought my message was loud and clear…_

John stared back, taking in her appearance. She was wearing a sleeveless red swing dress, that tied at its high neck. The dress stopped several above the knee and nude-leather stiletto pumps accented the outfit. _Perfect for joining the mile-high club_ , John thought, totally annoyed. She looked great, and John began wondering fancifully about Joss's choice of underwear, but then he rememberied that he wouldn't be the one finding out, a thought that annoyed him even further.

Joss recovered from the staring contest first as Edouardo approached. "All clear in the kitchen Miss. If that is all, we should be leaving now."

"Yes, thank you Edouardo. I'm set."

Edouardo retrieved her bag and lifted it with ease. He carried it down the stairs, while Joss closed the door and made certain it was locked. She caught up with Edouardo and followed him to the car while she shrugged on a short red jacket, continuing to steal glances at John. As Edouardo deposited the bag into the trunk, Joss held John's gaze over the top of the town car. Once the bag was stored, Edouardo opened the rear door and Joss got in.

As the car pulled off, John stepped to the center of the street, pleading with his eyes, that Joss wouldn't go. _Don't leave with Almeida…Joss don't go…don't leave me_ , _baby please,_ he mouthed silently, or was it aloud? He didn't know.

Joss looked out from the car's rear window and saw John standing in the street staring after her. She saw his lips moving, the sadness in his eyes, the longing …she felt his anguish…

"Is everything alright Miss?", Edouardo asked, concerned, watching Joss.

Joss faced front forcing a smile. "Yes, Edouardo, I'm fine. Just looking forward to the trip. What time is the flight? I hope I didn't make us late."

"We have time. The flight won't take off until 15 minutes after we arrive, whatever time we get there."

"I don't understand."

"It's a private charter out of JFK", Edouardo explained.

"Ohhhh", Joss responded, noting that Sebastian had yet to fail to pleasantly surprise her.

But back at the brownstone, John stood rigidly in the street, even though the car was no longer visible. Then he continued to stand, tears streaming, waiting, hoping for the return of a car that was speeding to JFK, taking its precious cargo, John's beloved, to her new lover…

 **A/N:** **So what now Mr. Smarty Pants? What now? Your woman has left on a trip to San Fran for a long weekend with a sexy, smart man who clearly wants her. Stay tuned!**

 **Also, a quick note of appreciation to all of you who continue to read my stories. I hope you all are having great summers! I was under the weather during July and am just now catching up with my writing obligations, but never fear. I will soon have our star-crossed lovers back in Atlantic City. Until next time…**


	6. Chapter 6 If Only

_Two Months Later – In Early July_

John sat quietly in the loft wearing nothing but his black boxer briefs. He wasn't the least bit tired as the last two numbers were walks in the park. Thoughts about his life threatened to overwhelm him yet again but he resisted the urge to get the bottle of Jack from the kitchen. He knew that would lead to nothing good.

He had her. He had Joss, the woman of his heart and soul. But he screwed that up and pushed her into the arms of another man where she seemed to be quite happy. In a way he was happy for her – she certainly deserved all the happiness she could get. But she had been happy with him, too, at least for a while. He could feel it - even when she wasn't near him he could feel her happiness and that gave him unabashed joy. And he had been happy too. If only he could have accepted this happiness in the gift to him that was Joss! He could make her happy again. He _would_ make her happy again! If only she would let him back into her life as lover and as friend…

But now, here he sat on a Saturday night yet again, alone, missing Joss. Wanting to see her face, hear her voice – even if she were scolding him. Feeling sorry for himself was what got him into this mess in the first place. In the past, he might have phoned Zoe, or if Zoe phoned him, agreed to "meet" her. The phoning and agreeing were pretty frequent early on back when they first met, but Zoe was not the woman for him. She was never the woman for him. He knew it from day 1. He'd mistakenly believed that Zoe had accepted their relationship as a simple arrangement between two consenting adults. He should have known better. There was nothing simple about Zoe. If only he had realized this before he lost Joss.

He remembered the final straw that started the ending of his relationship with Joss this third and what appeared to be final time, as if it occurred yesterday. It was the Tuesday before Thanksgiving…

 _Joss, it is for the best, he'd said. You have too much to lose – you have a life, a career, a family. I can't be responsible if something bad happens to you. It has already and I've been too selfish to leave you alone. But I have to – for your sake._

 _Joss stood before him in tears. Please don't do this, she'd pleaded. We can work it out. Don't you trust me? Don't you respect me and my ability to look out for myself? To decide whom to love? I chose you John, knowing what I know about what you do, I still chose you. Please don't send me away, not again. What's different this time? Why are you doing this again?_

 _It's just over, Joss, it's better for you this way. You'll see. He had kissed her forehead fiercely and walked away._

 _That Friday, Zoe phoned him for drinks. He had been sulking in the loft, but agreed to meet her. Why not? He was single and suddenly horny and hard sex with Zoe might be just what the doctor ordered._

 _They met at Stilton's for drinks within the hour. Zoe looked beautiful as always and it didn't take him long to rise to the occasion. The flirting was incessant and they each demonstrated their willingness to kick things up to the next level. They were sitting at the bar. He had his tongue down Zoe's willing throat, the one hand behind her head holding her to his mouth. The other hand was under her dress and creeping up her thigh. His eyes were open as he was gauging Zoe's reaction him. Just as Zoe parted her legs to give him better access to her panty- less bottom, John felt a familiar tingle. He turned his head, only to see Joss, watching him from across the room, having been dragged out by two of her friends._

 _Seeing Joss and sensing that her evening might come to an undesired ending, Zoe took John's face between her hands, leaned in and kissed him for all she was worth. John moved to pull away as Zoe's hand trailed down his chest and rested suggestively near his crotch. When he finally got free, Joss was gone._

 _Come on – let's get out of here, Zoe had suggested. John threw down $100 and followed her obediently to her place._

 _And to his shame, he had fucked Zoe like a madman, trying to forget the look on Joss's face, trying to exorcize her from his soul. It didn't work. It never worked. So why the hell did he keep doing it?_

 _He left quickly, thinking to rush to Joss's house but decided against it. Instead, he went home and phoned her. Surprisingly, she picked up on the first ring._

 _What do you want John?_

 _I wanted to explain._

 _Explain what? That you really left me because you have another woman? Why would you play me like this? I thought you loved me John. You said you did. I thought I meant more to you than that. Her voice quivered and John knew she was crying. You could have just told me, John. You could have just told me._

 _Joss, it's not what you think. I'm-_

 _How long?, she interrupted._

 _What?_

 _How long, she insisted. How long have you been fucking Zoe?_

 _He winced at the vulgarity – it sounded so sordid, seedy and just plain wrong (which he knew it was). John knew what she was asking so he paused, wanting to get the words correct._

 _How long? Joss screamed at him_

 _It started about 2 years ago, he blurted._

 _He heard Joss gasp, knowing that she was replaying his time with her, wondering if she missed cues that he had been lying about his love for her. He'd quickly added, would it matter if I didn't sleep with her tonight? Knowing full well he had…_

 _You were certainly well on the way from what I saw. I doubt you stopped on my account, since my account never stopped you before. Take care of yourself John. Please don't call me again._

And that was it – the true love of his life, gone.

Having completed his mental visit to incidents from 8 months past, John stood and walked over to his laptop. Opening Spotify, he resumed his work on the next offering to Joss. He had decided two months ago to pour out his heart to her using music. Not like he had a choice since she had refused to talk to him, or listen to him, when he tried to talk to her – to explain. She had refused his calls and texts. This was after he had blown yet another opportunity to get close to her again back in May. But he had to find a way to communicate, and sending carefully selected songs, several a week for the last two months, was the best way he could think of. What did Prince say?

 _Sometimes a man can't find words….just every so often words of another…_

 _just seem to work out fine._

Was she listening? He had no idea, but he could hope. She hadn't returned the music files and as best as he could tell, she hadn't blocked him. The emails had been opened – he knew that much. But he wanted her to listen to the music, not with her ears, but with her heart, and give him one more chance. That was all he needed – just one more chance. If only she would give him one more chance.

Last week he was feeling especially low. He had sent her Pavarotti's E Lucevan Estelle (which he translated from the Italian himself and included it in the email), Bonnie Raitt's I Can't Make You Love Me, Laura Fabian's Je 'Taime (which he very liberally translated from the French himself and included it in the email), and The Dells "The Love We Had". These were intended as the last plaintive cries of a lover and he thought this music would contain his last messages to her, but then he remembered the last words he had spoken to her that final night they were together, after the Argentine-Brazil gala – "…I'm not giving you up." Though he would never admit it, he remembered her last words to him as well, "You already have".

So here he was, back on Spotify, doing his thing – looking for songs in various genres that he could send that reflected what he would say to her if only he could. She favored R & B, his thing was Motown and Rock. He sent a few rock tunes, but not many thinking that if he stuck with what she liked the likelihood that she might listen increased. So this week, he'd downloaded The Temptations, All I Need, Sam Smith, Leave Your Lover, Will Downing, This Time I'll Be Sweeter, Stevie Wonder, Signed, Sealed Delivered, I'm Yours, Michael McDonald, Baby I'm for Real (he knew she really liked Michael McDonald).

Just as he was downloading the final song, his phone rang. John checked the time (a little after midnight) then groaned. He picked up the phone. "Finch", he said in greeting, trying not to sound annoyed. When there was no immediate response he looked at the caller ID. "Joss", he said eagerly.

"I'm sorry…I shouldn't have called", she whispered.

"No, no, please, please don't hang up. Is everything alright? You, Taylor?" John jumped up rushing to the closet to grab some clothes.

"We're both fine."

John tamped down his panic, and breathed a sigh of relief while standing still, expectantly. After a few moments Joss said, "I can't sleep."

He smiled inwardly, remembering how she used to call him when she couldn't sleep and he would talk to her or read to her over the phone, or go over to her house to keep her company until she'd drop off in his arms.

 _Tread lightly here, John_ , he warned himself. He had a million questions for her, starting with why she phoned him and not Almeida. Had they broken up (he hoped)? Was there an opening for him? If only there was an opening.

John paused a bit. "How about I come get you for a drive? It's a nice night and the air might do you good." _Please, please, please,_ he silently begged.

Joss paused a bit. "OK", the words spoken softly as if she were uncertain about seeing or talking to him again.

 _Yes!_ , thought John. "I'll be there in 40. Wait for me."

Ten minutes later, John was showered and dressed in men's slim fit dark jeans, a fitted European style v-neck white tee, and Cole Haan driving loafers (no socks). He grabbed a watch, his favorite bracelet, and headed to the door. He stopped and turned around abruptly and went back to his computer desk, picking up an mp4. Standing for another second or two to make certain he hadn't forgotten anything, he rushed out to the garage to his car.

 _Back in Brooklyn…_

Joss hanged up the phone. She'd done it – she'd gone and done it. She phoned John, something she swore she would never do again unless life or death. She huffed gently, maybe this was both life _and_ death – a chance at a happy life with someone she dearly and apparently clearly loved, or the final death knell for same.

She'd been thinking about John a great deal since the night Sebastian broke up with her two weeks before. She couldn't fault him. She had been clear with him from the beginning about not wanting anything serious, explaining that she was newly out of a bad relationship. Sebastian had agreed to remain casual. Nonetheless, the two of them had grown extremely close during the last 4 months – almost inseparable, doing little things as well as big things together. He was attentive, intelligent, funny, witty, caring, affectionate, sensitive, open, and accomplished. He talked with her often, seeking her counsel on some of his business and philanthropic interests. Did she forget he was rich too? Did she forget amazingly handsome? He was 6'3" of raw strength, masculinity, and sensuality, with long brown hair, hazel eyes, full lips, and a slash through one of his eyebrows, that did nothing to mar his breathtaking appearance. The icing on the cake was that Taylor liked him too.

She had worried about introducing him to Taylor, but in the interest of moving on, she did so, at the appropriate time of course. Taylor still spent time with John - the pair had a relationship that existed outside of her – one that was good for Taylor (and John too). They played basketball, did archery, practiced martial arts. So as difficult as it was at the beginning, especially when Taylor would come home wanting to share about something really cool he had learned from "Mr. Badass", Joss put on her Mom face and listened attentively, never asking about John, or sending John messages through Taylor.

Taylor also took to Sebastian. They went to movies, visited skate parks, played soccer. Sebastian gave him guitar lessons, and conversed with Taylor in Spanish, to a point where Taylor was at the beginning stage of proficiency, a skill that Joss had wanted desperately for Taylor – proficiency in a foreign language. Taylor was thriving with all the male positive male attention.

But as perceptive as he was, Sebastian sensed that something, _someone_ was in the way of their progress. The last night that they made love, Sebastian begged her to want him the way she had wanted that other man. In that moment Joss had a sense that there was a time stamp on their relationship, because she didn't know if she could _ever_ want anyone the way she had wanted that other man – John. And Sebastian read that truth in her eyes. So as much as she had grown to care for him, she had to let Sebastian go. Dammit - How many times would John cause her pain, cause her to lose something – or someone who had become important to her?!

But in spite of everything, she had done it, she had gone and done it. She called John. It would play out as it would. Onward and upward or over and out. If only she knew which…

A/N: This story has been tough. I hope the angst level hasn't been too much for you. And we're getting closer to the end of this part of the story (big smile)! Next chapter soon. By the by, the Prince line is from his cover of "Betcha By Golly Wow", originally sung by the Stylistics. I have imagined a whole 2 month playlist of 'baby baby please come back' type music. What tunes would you send out? Send me a PM!


	7. Chapter 7 Music to Their Ears and Hearts

With windows down and the sunroof open, and breaking all kinds of traffic laws, John arrived at Joss's brownstone in 26 minutes. He left the car running and double parked, as she was sitting outside on the stoop. When the car stopped and John exited, Joss stood after a few moments and began walking slowly toward him. He recalled that she hadn't seen his new car, an Aston Martin DB-11, and prayed that that was the reason for her hesitation. He walked to the passenger door and opened it for her, standing by dutifully.

John took in her appearance as she approached. She was still so beautiful. Joss was wearing a baby blue maxi halter dress. The material was thin as it moved gently with the slight summer wind and he could see the faint outline of her body in the moonlight. Flat thong sandals were on her feet - her hair pulled back into a messy bun. A small bag was draped across her body. The outfit was lovely in its breezy simplicity – perfect for a warm moonlit summer night. And Joss was lovely in the outfit – a perfect companion for a warm moonlit summer night.

John smiled at her when at last she stood before him. "Hey", he said, wanting to pull her into his arms.

It was Joss's turn to smile. She had taken in his appearance when he walked around the car. The jeans hugged him in all the right places and the Euro tee accentuated his broad shoulders. His hair was a bit wind blown giving him a sexy morning after kind of look.

John noted that she hadn't spoken but her smile was warm. When Joss climbed into the passenger seat, she immediately noticed the music playing softly, Michael McDonald's Hail Mary. Joss really liked Michael McDonald. As she sat, John saw that her dress had a slit up to the thigh offering a generous view of those gorgeous pecan colored legs that he loved to have wrapped around him. He closed her door while she was fastening her seat belt.

John walked to driver's side and got in.

"Lily?" he questioned, as he put the car in gear.

"Excuse me?", Joss asked.

"Your fragrance, lily?", John replied.

"Yes", she said, and off they went. As they approached the stop sign at the end of her block, Joss added, "Do you like it?"

"Yes", John answered promptly. "Very much." He gifted her a smoldering glance, then turned right at the corner, intending to take them to Uptown Manhattan.

Once there they passed the Guggenheim and Metropolitan Museum of Art, and drove through Spanish Harlem, noting the changes that had taken place there in just a few short years. They shot over to the Upper West Side, circling around a deserted Lincoln Center, the crowds having long since left the venerable venue. They skirted Central Park to 59th, on their way to the Rockefeller Center, Chrysler Building, Bryant Park, and Grand Central Station. As they passed the Empire State Building, Joss looked up through the sunroof of the Aston and smiled. She remembered a school field trip where they went up to the top of the building, the tallest in the world at one time. She hadn't been back since, though she had visited other attractions many times, most recently, with Sebastian.

Times Square was packed with visitors and residents as usual, in spite of the lateness (or earliness) of the hour. No surprise there. In spite of the closed off streets, they pair wove their way through the Theater District, Carnegie Hall and MoMa. John circled back around to an entrance to Central Park and pulled over near a parking garage.

He checked his watch. "We have a little time before the Park closes. Want to go for a walk?"

After a brief pause, Joss responded, "No. I would really just like to continue riding – that is, unless you're tired? You can take me home."

"No", said John, "I'm not tired. Things have been pretty quiet lately and I actually had a nap today." He took her hand and kissed it gently, wheels turning over in his head as to where they could go next. "Let's keep going – you say 'when'."

Up to this point, Joss had sat silently throughout the drive, looking out the window, gazing through the sunroof and otherwise just enjoying the sights and sounds of NY. She drove these streets often, but had rarely really observed or felt the energy, the light, that permeated the place. She could see why they called it the most exciting city in the world. How wonderful to be a tourist for a change.

Somewhere between Central Park and Lincoln Tunnel, John had again taken her left hand, placed more soft kisses to it, held it in his, and rested both on his thigh. He squeezed Joss's hand gently, and she squeezed back, having no idea how even that small gesture emboldened John.

"How are you feeling?", he asked, smoothing a stray hair from her face. Think you can sleep now?" But no sooner had he spoken the words, he was sorry he asked – it was an opportunity for her to ask him to take her home and he wanted more time. Though he was genuinely concerned he wanted more time.

"No, I don't think so", Joss said.

Before she could elaborate, John spoke. "You know, I haven't had a chance to open this baby up. You in?"

She nodded eagerly.

John put in the mp4 and continued toward the Lincoln Tunnel. Once in the tunnel, he rolled up the car's windows and closed the sunroof against the highway noises. At the first song, Joss looked at the display and saw that the artist's name was Daley, and the song was "Be". He sang:

 _Meet me at the station_

 _We can take a taxi home, maybe_

 _It's time for conversation_

 _Catch up on some things_

 _I don't know…_

She'd never heard of him, but she liked him. She wondered if this were another message meant for her. She had listened to all the songs John had sent – not at first though. She was too angry with him. But the files kept coming – every week for the past 2 months. Eventually her curiosity got the better of her and she not only listened but also began to look forward to his musical missives.

In the car, "Be" continued:

 _Cause if you don't know what to say_

 _I promise I won't make you feel bad, no. no_

 _Cause you're not the only one who's scared to say you're still in love_

 _If we run out of things to say_

 _I promise I won't make you feel bad, no. no_

 _We'll just roll the windows down_

 _We'll drive around this town and be, be, yeah_

Perfect music for tonight, Joss thought. She sighed deeply, watching the landscape go by. More Daley played, this time a duet with Marcia Ambrosius, one of ger favorite singers.

They exited the tunnel, taking the NJ Turnpike South to exit 11 which was the Garden State Parkway then to the AC expressway. John pressed the pedal to the metal and Joss found the speed exhilarating. In no time they were seeing the bright casino lights of Atlantic City. Just as he was exiting, Daniel Caesar's' Best Part' began to play on the car's audio.

 _You don't know babe  
When you hold me  
And kiss me slowly  
It's the sweetest thing  
And it don't change  
If I had it my way  
You would know that you are_

 _You're the coffee that I need in the morning  
You're my sunshine in the rain when it's pouring  
Won't you give yourself to me  
Give it all, oh_

John turned the DB-11 onto Atlantic Avenue, turned again onto Pacific Avenue and lucked up on a parking spot near the boardwalk. John pulled in just as the chorus was wrapping up:

 _If you love me won't you say something_

 _If you love me won't you say something  
If you love me won't you  
Won't you  
If you love me won't you say something…_

Though the song was incomplete, John turned off the car, unbuckled his seat belt, and got out. Rounding the vehicle, he opened the door for Joss, holding out his hand to her and she took it, stepping out into the night, soon to be dawn. They walked up the wooden stairs and over to the rail at the beach side of the boardwalk. They stood there, listening to the roar of the ocean, watching the white-caps over the inky darkness of the waves.

"Cold?", John asked, after Joss wrapped her arms around her body. He pulled her in front of him and covered her arms with his. He pressed his chest to her back and rested his chin on the top of her head.

John's heart was racing a mile a minute. He wanted desperately to talk to her, to explain. Afraid to risk it, afraid not to.

He was basking in her presence, loving the feel of her in his arms. She was his "home". Eventually John raised his eyes to the heavens and turned Joss to face him.

"Joss. I am sorry. So so sorry for all that I did. I convinced myself that I was protecting you – foolish, I know." John dropped to his knees, tears spilling down his cheeks as he held onto her waist. He rested his head on her belly for a few moments. Removing it to look into her eyes again, he continued. "I have been miserable without you. I know that you probably don't care because my misery was of my own making, and it was.

"But I've learned. I have. And I'm ready Joss. Ready for something special and enduring with you. Please take me back. Please."

He watched her, both dreading an answer and hoping for it at the same time.

"Stand up John, stand up. You're attracting attention", Joss admonished. After looking at each other, Joss reached into her small bag and pulled out her phone and ear pods. She scrolled through her music until she found the song she wanted and she handed one of the pods to John. After they each donned a pod, Joss pressed play.

John listened to the sweet strains of a ballad sung with piano accompaniment. The rich silky alto sang…

 _It doesn't really matter what you did any more_

 _It doesn't really matter what you did it for, or who you did it to_

 _I forgive you. I forgive you. I forgive you, suddenly completely, now..._

Was he hearing correctly? She forgave him? He dropped to his knees again, in gratitude, eyes shining with tears in the moonlight.

 _It doesn't really matter whether or not I understand_ _  
_ _It doesn't really matter whether or not you're still my man_ _  
_ _I still love you… and_

 _I forgive you. I forgive you. I forgive you, suddenly completely, now..._

John couldn't help himself – he sobbed, wetting her dress, clinging to her as if she were a golden lasso tethering him to the shore.

"John, stand up."

He did, as several groups of passersby offered their congratulations, thinking the pair had just become engaged. John even smiled and shook the offered hands. One older lady congratulated them and said to Joss, "Make sure he gets you a ring honey – a big one!", at which John and Joss both smiled broadly. Though John's smile was genuine, his happiness was not yet complete-for Joss forgave him but had not yet said she would take him back.

Once their audience trickled away, John gingerly asked, "Do you really forgive me?"

"I forgave you a long time ago, John. It was myself I couldn't forgive… for still wanting you", Joss replied.

But John had to know more. "Does this mean you'll take me back?" He wiped his tears.

Joss sighed deeply. "Yes, John. Yes. I will take you back. And do not get on your knees again! Your pants are sandy and wet." She wiped his few remaining tears with her hands. "Big baby", she scolded, and no sooner than she had, John swept her into his arms for a kiss so deep and passionate, Joss was totally lost in him. She couldn't get enough. Didn't care about the new crop of curious onlookers, just plain didn't care about anything but being in John's arms.

They broke the kiss but continued embracing. They felt so good to each other. John's eyes were squeezed shut. He wondered about Almeida, but wisely knew that this was not the time to ask. When he opened them, he noticed the lights of the brand new Revel Casino sparkling nearby.

"Joss", John said, grasping her upper arms. "I have an idea."

"Oh- What is it?"

"Let's stay here." Joss furrowed her brows, not understanding.

John continued, "Here, in Atlantic City. At the Revel. Joss, we need to talk-really talk. We have misunderstandings, and we have truths, and we have misunderstandings about some of those truths. Let's clear the air and give ourselves a fresh start. Don't we deserve that? You know how it is for us in the city, between your job and mine, people and things pull at us, pull us in different directions. I want us to be on firm footing -unbreakable-when we get back."

Joss continued to stare at John, not answering.

"C'mon, sweetheart, please. I know that Taylor is down south. What's holding you back? Is it Almeida?"

"No no no no no!", Joss exclaimed indignantly, each "no" uttered with rapid fire precision. You don't get to ask me about Sebastian." She looked John dead square in his eyes with her head held high.

"Sorry", he said, holding up his hands in mock surrender.

Joss added, "I have no clothes and I'm due at work on Monday."

"Don't worry", John said, "I'll take care of everything – get you what you need for the week." He pulled out his phone. "Just say yes."

"Yes", Joss said, looking at John lovingly.

John kissed her lightly, and stepped away from her to handle business, as promised.

He put the phone to his ear. "Finch.", John stated, all business.

"MR. REESE, I'm surprised to hear from you. We don't have a new number at the moment."

"I need a favor, Finch. I am here, in Atlantic City, with Joss."

"Oh?", Finch commented, clearly surprised. "Are congratulations in order?"

"Yes, we're back together" Finch could hear the smile in John's voice. "It's why I need a favor. I need Joss and me off from work until Monday a week. We want to stay here in AC to clear the air and completely work things out. A lot has passed between us these past 8-9 months."

"Say no more, Mr. Reese. I will take care of it right away. Is there anything more?"

"No – thanks Finch. For everything."

"Give my regards to the detective."

John signed off, walked back to Joss and announced, "Done. Oh, but one more thing." John scrolled through his phone punched in a few things. He put his phone on speaker and turned them both back toward the ocean.

A cello began the plaintive introduction. A raspy tenor then began to sing.

 _Find me here, and speak to me  
I want to feel you, I need to hear you  
You are the light that's leading me to the place  
Where I find peace again  
You are the strength that keeps me walking  
You are the hope that keeps me trusting  
You are the life to my soul  
You are my purpose  
You're everything  
And how can I stand here with you  
And not be moved by you  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?_

"What song is this?", Joss asked. "It's beautiful."

"It's 'Everything", by Lifehouse. For a while there, I was thinking that I'd never get to play this for you", John explained as the song continued.

 _You calm the storms and you give me rest  
You hold me in your hands  
You won't let me fall  
You steal my heart and you take my breath away  
Would you take me in, take me deeper now  
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this  
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this_

 _Cause you're all I want, you're all I need  
You're everything, everything  
You're all I want  
You're all I need  
You're everything, everything  
You're all I want  
You're all I need  
You're everything, everything  
You're all I want  
You're all I need  
Everything, everything_

 _And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this  
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you  
Would you tell me how could it be any better-any better than this…_

By the time the song ended, they had decided without words to each other, that 'Everything' would be their song, or at least one of them.

John kissed Joss lovingly, squeezed her hand and said, "Let's go."

The two then headed back to the Aston and drove the few blocks to the Revel, anxious for their new beginning.

 **A/N: Finally! Our star-crossed lovers are back together! To paraphrase Bette Davis, it has been "a bumpy ride". One more chapter (or two) before the events in my story "Not Just Another Day" kick in.**

 **Several of you reported disenchantment with John – he has been a jackass, to say the least. Some are disappointed that Joss would take him back after his stunts. Though in our hearts we know they belong together and it cannot be any other way. But let's see how he acts and if his actions are sufficient to redeem him with you guys (smile) and more importantly, with Joss. I mean she still needs to be a little fearful, right?**

 **I hope you enjoyed reading '…The Beginning of What?' as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please review and let me know. Hugs!**


	8. Chapter 8 - The Revel

John and Joss pulled up in front of the Revel's valet parking. Two valets opened the car doors. The one nearest John spoke. "Good morning, Sir. Madam. Are you guests of the hotel?"

"We will be registering, yes", John answered. Before they drove off, the valet gave John a ticket and explained that he or Joss could call for the car at any time, pointing out the valet extension number and the car's ticket number.

The pair locked hands and entered the sprawling casino with its two sets of automatic brass trimmed double doors. Joss was happy, but still a little concerned. There was air that needed to be cleared between them before she could even begin to think about a future with John, though he had clearly expressed that that was what he wanted. For now, however, she would enjoy the week and more importantly, enjoy John and see what unfolded. For his part, John was just plain happy, determined to not only show her his heart at every opportunity, but also rebuild her faith and trust in him

Though it was very early morning a.m., they saw a few gamblers on the hotel floor, but John and Joss were the only people registering. They walked over to the registration desk. John pulled Joss tightly to his side.

Smiling brightly, the desk clerk bid them good morning. _What a beautiful couple_ , she thought.

"Good morning", answered John. "We don't have reservations but wish to stay until Sunday next. Can you accommodate us?"

"Certainly sir. Let's see what we have", was the reply.

"We would like a penthouse if you have one available". added John.

"Oh YES, sir", she quickly responded. The desk staff suddenly sprung to life. "Please excuse me a moment." Joss looked up at John, he winked at her and in a flash the clerk returned. "Please come with me." John and Joss followed her to an intimate and elegantly appointed small office where they were greeted by the hotel manager on duty and another staffer.

"Good morning sir, madam. Please have seats", the manager said. "I understand that you want a penthouse suite. We have penthouse A, available for the week. It is the nicest of the 4, if I do say so myself. Three thousand dollars per night. May I have your luggage brought in?"

"We have none and we'll need clothing and toiletries for our stay." The desk clerk stepped over to a cabinet and brought over a computer tablet which he passed to John. The manager explained, "This screen shows a list of toilette articles. Please check off what you need and type in the brands the require, if you have preferences." John checked off a hair comb and brush, a tooth brush, toothpaste, bath gel, lotion, cologne, and a few other things then passed the tablet to Joss who added her own requirements. She looked at John's submissions and promptly deleted his hair spray and gel. Meanwhile the hotel staff waited patiently.

When Joss was finished she handed the tablet to the manager who passed it to a staffer who disappeared with it. "You will be able to purchase clothing online or in person from the many boutiques in the hotel or nearby shopping area, which will be delivered to your room post haste. Or would you prefer to meet with a personal shopper who will select things for your approval? We can schedule your initial consultation now."

"We will shop for ourselves, thank you", responded John _. Wow_ , thought Joss. _This must be how the other half lives._

"Certainly, sir. Complete information is available on the computer tablets that are conveniently placed around your suite."

"Good", John remarked.

"And how do you wish to pay for your stay?", the manager asked.

John was spending a lot of money, Joss thought, more than she could pay half of which was her original intention. She made a mental note to discuss this with him, because it certainly wasn't necessary. As John slid his titanium card across the counter, Joss asked about the rest room. The manager gave her directions, and she rose from the comfortable chair as did John, who then grabbed her arm and pulled her in for a brief kiss. "Hurry back, sweetheart", he said.

Turning his attention back to the manager, John stated, "I need to execute a counter check – what is your max?"

"Twenty-thousand, sir."

The manager passed an elegant book of checks over to John which he completed for the max. The manager handed the check to another staffer who also disappeared only to return a few moments later with the cash in hand, or rather, in an elegant velvet bag with an "R" embroidered on it.

After counting out the cash and handing the bag to John, the manager explained, "There is an in suite safe. Here is the passcode, which you can change to any of your choice. It is automatically changed back upon your checkout, but not before." A tall, crisply dressed staffer walked in just as Joss returned from freshening up.

"Ahh, here is your butler, Geoffrey. Geoffrey, the Warrens are guests in penthouse A. Geoffrey will take care of you during your stay. He is available 24 hours and is your point of contact for any and all of your needs. Geoffrey, please see the Warrens to their room." Geoffrey bowed his head in deference to John and Joss.

Anxious to be alone with Joss and to begin their time together, John quickly commented, "Thank you, but this really isn't necessary…" At that, Joss gently touched John's arm. "John", she whispered, "Geoffrey has a job to do. Let him do it."

Geoffrey again nodded his head to John and Joss, this time in gratitude. Times change and many thought butlering "Thank you, madame", he uttered. "Follow me please." And they were off.

While circling the casino floor to the bank of elevators, Joss observed the opulent chandeliers, waterfalls, couches, flowers, and other touches richly decorating the space. They also passed a long and wide corridor that was lined with high end clothing and jewelry stores, their signs and logos faintly lit.

"Where are the restaurants, Geoffrey?", asked Joss.

"There are several", answered Geoffrey. "Three casual dining establishments on this level, 3 fine dining and 3 more casual on floor 20, and a five star on 47." Joss enjoyed Geoffrey's British accent. It added even more class to the experience as if this were even possible.

Geoffrey led them to two elevators all the way at the end of the elevator's hall. He inserted his key card into the slot outside the elevator doors and the doors opened. Joss entered, then John, then Geoffrey, who inserted the key again. The doors then closed and the car sped upward, smoothly.

When John had entered, he backed Joss into a corner, facing her, his big body lightly touching hers. She stared at him and he stared back. Geoffrey could feel the sexual energy popping off between the couple and he watched their reflection in the highly shined brass elevator controls wall plate, but he could only see John's back. Geoffrey sneaked another peek and saw the fingers of Joss's right hand, slowly circling John's waist, travelling under his tee shirt. John pressed himself against Joss harder and with a few floors left on their 57-story ride, John rasped, "I can't wait to be inside you." Though it was supposed to be a whisper, Geoffrey heard him loud and clear. _Hmmm, LBs_ (love birds), Geoffrey thought and smiled. _I wonder if they are ELBs (exhibitionist love birds). If so I must alert the staff and remember not to assign the more skittish ones._ He recalled that poor Jeremy dropped a whole bottle of Bollingers, he was so stunned when an ELB started to have sex right on the couch in front of him while he was serving them drinks. Geoffrey smiled to himself again.

When the elevator arrived on 57, Geoffrey led them to the farthest penthouse door on the left, which he opened with a flourish. Joss walked in behind Geoffrey and John followed her. As with the elevator John walked up to her, as close as he could get, facing her. John never took his eyes away.

All Joss could hear was snippets of Geoffrey's spiel. "…the suite is 4500 square feet", "wrap around terrace". Geoffrey walked over to the terrace and opened the drapes to a magnificent view of the ocean. "Private infinity pool and hot tub off the master en suite…" As much as Joss wanted to look around she couldn't because the intensity of John's gaze would not allow her to look away. "Two working gas fireplaces…."

Geoffrey disappeared into what Joss assumed was the master bedroom. She heard more doors opening and closing, then "sauna". At that moment, ignoring Geoffrey's description of the space, John said, "I can't be gentle." Joss nodded, then stroked his cheek saying, "I'm not glass, John. I won't break. And besides, I want you too." John gave her a wicked knowing grin.

None of this was lost on Geoffrey who cut short his spiel. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"No", John started. "Wait, yes." He tore himself away from Joss and walked with Geoffrey to the door.

"Will you bring us coffee, water, a generous assortment of breakfast meats, scrambled eggs, juice, wheat toast, various jams."

"Right away sir."

John looked over at Joss. "Give us about an hour."

"Very good sir. Where would you like it set up?"

"Over on the kitchen island will work fine. Thank you, Geoffrey."

Before the door closed completely, John was on Joss, kissing her deeply. He dropped the velvet bag to the floor. "Get out of those clothes", he demanded, having already divested himself of his shirt and shoes. Joss untied the halter of her dress and stepped out of it, but after she had done so, John tore off her panties.

"You're taking too long", he complained, palming and massaging her ass cheek. 'I can't wait – I just want a little now", he said, grabbing Joss's legs at the knees, he lifted her and wrapped her legs around his waist. He then dropped to knees and laid her down. John began to kiss her deeply, squeezing her breast with one hand, unzipping and freeing his rock hard cock with the other. He then raised up, spread her legs, hooked his arms under her knees, and entered her roughly.

"Oooohhh", he groaned and hissed at the contact. He started pounding her, apologizing at the same time. "I'm sorry, baby. I 'll make it sweeter, I promise. I just want you so bad right now."

Her response was to take his face in her hands, keeping eye contact. Then she arched her back, and used his arms as leverage to lift her hips, pounding him too. After a few minutes, he let go of her legs, but she kept them raised. She pulled his body down against hers and hugged him tightly, kissing his eyes, lips, cheeks, and mouth hungrily.

"Ummmm, so damn good", she murmured, "I don't want to stop…".

More time passed. John slowly pulled out of Joss and rose to his knees, stood, then offered his hand to her. She took it and stood and they both stumbled to the master suite still hugging and kissing and fell onto the huge bed. Joss scootched over and John turned on his side, turned her onto her side, facing away from him, lifted her leg, held it in place and inserted himself into her dripping sex. With his other arm he reached under her and cupped her breast. She placed her hand over his, encouraging him to knead her sensitive nipple. He did. Joss sucked her teeth at the sensation.

More time passed. They sighed in unison and joy at the intimate contacts and John began to stroke harder and faster. Joss turned her head so as to see John's face. His eyes were darkened and half closed in ecstasy. His lips were parted – moist, and it was just about the sexiest thing she had even seen.

Time passed. John stroked, stroked, and stroked for what seemed like hours, when Joss lowered her leg, and pulled away from John. "Come here baby, get on top", she said.

Happy to oblige, John smiled, and he mounted her. Instead of laying between her legs, he pushed her legs together and straddled her, and thrusted all the way up to her g spot. He rested on his forearms, circling his hips, grinding from side to side, snaking into her over and over. Joss began to moan and groan. She was quivering beneath him, powerless to stop the tremors from racing through her body, building to what would be for her an earth-shattering orgasm.

Joss screamed his name as John increased the pace.

John didn't stop, even as he felt Joss's pussy pulsating on him, gripping, releasing. Panting, he suddenly pushed Joss's legs apart with his knees, and began long, deep strokes that resembled a swimming butterfly. He braced his arms and leaned down, devouring Joss's mouth with his. "I love you so damn much", he whispered. At the same time Joss ran her hands up his arms and across his shoulders, enjoying the feel of his muscles working in his back and shoulders. She tangled one hand in John's hair and splayed the fingers of the other against his face. "I love you too, John." Joss's legs remained open wide, bent at the knees with her feet planted on the mattress yet she still managed to thrust her wet pussy against John's dick, pleasuring them both immensely.

"Dammit", John breathed harshly into her ear as he continued his deep dives. Joss moaned in response to John's movements. His weight rested on one hand, John touched her face and kneaded her breast with the other, before lying on her again, going for her mouth with his. John increased the pace yet again and fucked Joss harder, causing her to cry out in ecstasy.

"Oooo, yes, baby, that's it, fuck me good…" Joss sucked her teeth. "Don't stop. Please don't stop", she panted. "So good, keep fucking me like that."

And he did, as his body gleamed with a sheen of sweat. He rested his forehead against Joss's. "Give it to me baby, this is my pussy, mine, say it…"

"Your pussy, John, yours…"

"Just like the rest of you – mine."

He raised himself on his haunches, still keeping intimate contact, and lifted her leg, pressing the underside of her toes against his wet mouth. He licked and kissed there, breathlessly, still stroking Joss deeply.

"I loved, Jessica", he panted, "you know that right?"

Joss watched him, unsure about his next statement. "Yes", she finally answered.

John never stopped his movements before he finally said, "It was nothing like this – nothing like the depth of feelings I have for you. I never wanted any woman the way I want you."

Joss's response was to lower her leg, reach up and pull John down to her by his shoulders so that she could kiss him, darting her tongue into his mouth, hot wet kisses that he returned with equal fervor.

Even more time. Their passion continued in near silence. Eventually, John heard the door, and his senses went on high alert. He heard footsteps, wheels, then the faint rattle of dishes. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Geoffrey pick up their clothes from the floor near the bedroom door and inspect each piece. At that, John lifted his head continuing his congress with Joss, whose eyes were closed in ecstasy. He faced Geoffrey and Geoffrey for his part looked at John, lowered his eyes, and a few brief seconds later, John heard the faint click of the penthouse door closing.

"Ugh, I'm coming again", Joss shouted, and John continued to work her. His sweat dripped onto her body, mingling with hers. He increased the pace and the depth even more and after a moment or two Joss screamed. Her body quaked. She moaned her release. It took every ounce of strength John had not to follow her into the sweet abyss, but he wanted to give her his all.

John rolled over onto his back and pulled a still shivering Joss on top him. He turned her over so that her back was to his chest then he sat up, placed her legs on either side of his body, circled her waist with one arm, and placed his other hand at her throat. He lay back down, his mouth at Joss's ear and her torso flush against him.

John loved the feel of her generous butt cradled at his groin. He began to stroke again, this time a slow snaking, deep grind. Joss began to groan immediately. She could feel the wetness of John's body sliding against her, his breath hot on her ear as he licked and nipped her ear lobe. She hissed and groaned again in response, her head limp, her hands clutching the sheets and her eyes half closed.

John took a deep breath. "My name is Johnathan Jameson Jones. My mother Margaret my father James", he panted. "I have no brothers and sisters and my parents died years ago, well before their time. My dad first, in an accident at the refinery where he worked."

Stroking still, he took a few more moments, breathed deeply again. "I read, write and speak 5 languages; I'm conversational in another 3." John licked and bit Joss on her neck then tongued the spot roughly.

He paused his monologue a few more minutes to allow their pleasure to deepen. He was getting close. Feeling the heat from her wet pussy, he hissed then continued. "I play piano and guitar. And I was a semester away from graduating from the University of Washington with a double major in mechanical and civil engineering when my mom died….I stayed at home and worked for a while, but I couldn't bear the place without them…."

"Ungggg", John groaned deeply, pausing his heartfelt talk. He still moved deeply within Joss, and he could tell that she was close. He lowered the hand at her waist to her clit, using his middle finger to massage it in small circular motion with just the right amount of pressure. Joss sighed and hissed, her body tensing.

"Ahhhh", Joss keened and twisted, and John used his strength to keep her still while he stroked her hard.

John continued. "I joined the army after a year or two of knocking around, became an Army Ranger, and was recruited by the CIA where…where…" John sighed again, "…I lost my humanity and the privilege to be loved by a woman like you." Joss could feel wetness dripping onto her shoulder that she was certain were John's tears. She reached behind her and began stroking his hair, cooing whispers of love to him. She wanted to flip him over and love him, but she was powerless to do anything but feel him…to the depths of her being.

John slowed his stroke, his breaths hitched and uneven. Joss cried out, arching her back, calling John's name in ragged, uneven whispers. John followed with a deep roar, his body spasming from his lengthy and complete ejaculation. In that moment John decided he would love to see Joss's belly swollen with the life he put there—but for now, he would accept and relish this shared slice of heaven.

They held each other, exchanging kisses, touches. John slid out of Joss, then moved to her side, turning his body toward hers as she lay on her back. He traced circles on her belly, ran the backs of his fingers across her cheek, placed light kisses along the path his fingers travelled. Joss took his hand, kissed his fingertips and sucked his thumb. They lay together for a while, just basking in the afterglow of their loving.

Finally, their collective breathing returned to normal but the two still didn't move. They lay there, looking into each other's eyes, smiling, caressing each other, talking without words. Then John kissed Joss's forehead. "Come on, let's grab a shower and eat. I'm starved." He moved to leave their bed, but Joss grabbed his hand and pulled him back and kissed him lovingly. "You never lost your humanity John. People tried to convince you that you did, but you didn't, you wouldn't. And you certainly never lost the right be loved. You are no monster, John, I know you aren't. If you were, you wouldn't be alive, here, with me. I know too that you are strong and loving. But it's not enough for me to know it == you have to know it too."

John smiled weakly and nodded. He reached out and hugged Joss to him tightly. He would work hard to know it and show it; their relationship and future depended upon it. He had sworn to Joss that he was ready, and he was.

"Food is here, I hope you're hungry", John said.

"Oh? When did it come?", asked Joss.

"A few minutes before you did the first time", John answered with a grin.

"When we were…we were", Joss stammered, mortified.

"Yes", John said, chuckling at her naivete.

"So Geoffrey heard us?"

"Heard us and saw us". John responded.

"OMG!", shouted Joss. "Saw us, John? How can I look him in the eyes after that?" She quickly sat up.

"Easily. He's a servant and a good one. Good ones see but are rarely seen and do not talk under any circumstances", John explained.

"Well you saw him", Joss said, and John, smirking, quickly added, "I saw him, but you didn't, though you were…distracted when he appeared."

"Hmphf. And just how do you know about that seeing but not seen thing? Were you a butler on one of your assignments or something?"

"Yes, I was", said John. "It's fine – trust me. Let's grab a shower and eat."

"OK. I'm starved too." Joss rose from the bed and found herself a bit wobbly.

"You OK?" John jumped up from the bed and held Joss at the elbow, concerned.

"I'm fine", she said, and the pair walked naked into the luxurious bath.

 **A/N: Well...our lovebirds finally arrived at The Revel and, true to his word, John is being more open to Joss. I know I said this before (smile), but one or two more chapters and the story picks up in Not Just Another Day, where John and Joss finish out the week together. Hugs, kisses, and enjoy!**


	9. Chapter 9 - Breakfast

**A/N: This chapter is M-ish. Sorry, I forget to warn you sometimes.**

They hadn't been in the shower 5 minutes yet and John had his back pressed against the shower's glass wall, legs akimbo, eyes closed, arms spread wide against the glass, hands opening and closing in ecstasy. He opened his eyes, looked down at Joss, the sight of her on her knees before him totally intoxicating him. Her lips and tongue teased the tender flesh of his cock as her hands gripped him firmly there, stroking and squeezing. John was so over the moon he could barely breathe.

Geoffrey tapped lightly on the penthouse door and entered. No sooner than the door closed behind him, Geoffrey heard the shower jets going full blast and the sound of a masculine voice echoing off the bathroom walls. "Oh God, Joss. Please. Feels so good, baby. Mmmmmn…ughhh…ughhh…ughhhh", his groans in time with Joss's caresses.

Geoffrey smiled broadly. _Definitely LBs,_ he thought. Geoffrey decided to risk the Warrens' sudden and quite possibly naked entry into the living area in order to attend to their probably untouched and cold breakfast. He quickly walked to the kitchen area. John's groans could still be heard, but a ittle less loudly. Geoffrey quickly put the meats, eggs and pancakes into the oven to warm and the fresh fruit and juice into the fridge to cool. Geoffrey decided to make a fresh pot of coffee so he picked up the old pot and headed back toward the door. _I'll return with a fresh pot in say, 10 minutes_ , he thought.

As he approached the door, Geoffrey heard a shout. "No, no! Not like this, Joss – I don't want to come like this…" Geoffrey heard movement, a thump, then the sexy sounds of both male and female passion echoing off the bathroom walls.

 _Better make that 30 minutes,_ Geoffrey thought and smiled again.

Meanwhile back in the bathroom, John had Joss lifted and pinned against the shower's glass wall, her knees bent, and was pounding her hard.

"I'm coming", she screamed, and John was grateful because he didn't think he could last long she felt so fucking good to him. But the heat of her scorched him and the sensations of their sex mingled with the water that beat on his back drove him to continue beyond what he thought was possible. He felt Joss go rigid then tremble in his arms, as she bit into his shoulder muffling her cries. John buried his face in the nook of her neck, tensed, then relaxed into his own orgasm with a deep sigh, his essence flowing freely into her.

Twenty-nine minutes later, John and Joss emerged from the shower wrapped in the complementary terry robes and stumbled out of the bathroom, laughing, grinning, and giving each other soft caresses. They burst through the doors, passed through the living area and padded barefoot to the kitchen area. Just as Joss sat at the kitchen island, Geoffrey tapped lightly and entered.

"Good morning, Sir, Madam. I have fresh coffee for you. Shall I pour?"

Joss almost said no, as she was still a little embarrassed about Geoffrey's seeing them making love earlier, but John cut her off saying, "Yes, please." He gave Joss a comforting look and lovingly lifted her chin. She smiled in thankful appreciation of the boost.

"Pardon me for a moment", said Geoffrey, and he walked a few feet away, made a quick phone call, then returned to face the couple.

"So sorry, Sir, Madam." He poured the coffee, then removed the hot and cold breakfast items from their respective locations. As he was plating the food, the penthouse door opened and two teams of maids entered, one carrying linens, one carrying their clothes from yesterday, cleaned and on hangers. Another carried a small shopping bag, with an "R" on the front. The 2 with the clothing and linens entered the bedroom area, and the other two went to the guest area.

Geoffrey placed their plates in front of John and Joss, each piled high with breakfast offerings. It didn't take long for the two to dig in.

"This is so good, Geoffrey", Joss said. "I am so hungry, I'm going to eat every bite."

John was busily eating and had his mouth full, but nodded his head enthusiastically.

The two of them ate as if they hadn't had food in days. They actually hadn't eaten for almost 24 hours and their vigorous lovemaking intensified their hunger even more.

The maids had finished cleaning the guest area and were straightening up and dusting the living area. They made short work of it, since John and Joss hadn't sat on anything in there. The pair went to join the master bedroom/bath crew to help put things to rights in there. Geoffrey had excused himself to follow them. One maid came out and left the penthouse only to return with new robes and more towels.

A few moments later, the maids left. John and Joss finished their breakfast at about the same time and Geoffrey returned to them to ask if they needed anything further.

"Just more coffee please", asked John.

Geoffrey nodded, refilled their cups, then removed their dishes to the serving table. He put the fruit back in the fridge though, along with the juice and water.

"Any thoughts on lunch?", Geoffrey asked.

"Not yet", answered John. "We'll call you."

"Certainly sir."

Geoffrey began wheeling the tray toward the door but stopped at the bedroom area. Entering, John and Joss could hear the light whir of a motor. Geoffrey left the bedroom and departed the suite.

Joss relaxed a little once the door closed.

"Wasn't so bad, was it?", asked John.

"No, it really wasn't", Joss said, taking s sip of her coffee.

She watched John as he sipped his coffee also, stealing glances at her. She remembered his admissions and declarations to her during their session(s) and decided she would press just a bit for more.

"So, John, what kind of things did you like as a little boy?" Joss looked into her coffee cup rather than at him wondering if he would deflect.

"I loved doing things with my Dad", John said. "He taught me how to hunt, fish, camp, and track. Dad was a tinkerer, and I tinkered at his side, fixing small appliances, radios, helping him rebuild a classic mustang convertible that he bought cheap. But he joined the service when I was 12. He was a helicopter pilot. Did three 2 - year tours overseas."

He took another sip then continued. "I stayed close to my mom after that. We helped each other to power through a difficult lonely period. Mom was a high school teacher. She was French, you know. Margaret", he pronounced, in French. "She taught me to cook and to love music, play instruments, dance, speak French and Spanish."

"Spanish, John?"

"Yeah, I spoke read and wrote French fluently so naturally I tried to take French in school."

"Naturally", Joss repeated.

"Mom wasn't having it though and made me take Spanish. Thing was, since I spoke French and English, Spanish came easily."

"I see", Joss smiled, seeing elements of Johns mom and dad him even today.

"It must have been hard on you both, your Dad being away and all."

"It was, but we hid the pain, fear, and loneliness from each other. Which wasn't good for either of us. Mom trying to keep it together for me, 'cause I was just a kid, and me, because I figured she had it tough enough taking care of me and I didn't want to add to her burden."

Joss quickly switched gears, sensing the air get heavy.

"High school girl friend?"

"No, not really", John answered. "I lost my virginity to a 19 year old when I was 14, so I was saying yes to anything asking with a pulse after that." _Humpf, explains Zoe_ , Joss thought. John continued. "Got me into hot water with several of the local families who couldn't believe their little princesses capable of or interested in sex."

"So you had a rep with the ladies."

"I guess…for a good time call Johnathan Jones", he teased, but Joss didn't find this funny. "But I never set out to hurt anyone, never coerced or lied to anyone. Always made my position as a lone wolf clear. Never lied to anyone about what I was willing to give."

Joss remembered when she and John first got together, but that brought up memories of their breakups as well. She decided to explore this avenue later.

"Loved anyone?"

"Just Jessica, or I thought I did, at least until I met you. What I feel for you is so much more, so deep. I was frightened of it for a long time."

"Now?"

"Not now. I want it. I want it all. I want it forever, and I want I with you."

At that John leaned over and gave Joss a toe-curling kiss. At the end of the kiss, the two nuzzled for a while. More time passed and Joss suddenly yawned, the events of the last 12 hours finally getting to her.

"Am I keeping you up detective?", John smirked.

"Not any longer", Joss retorted. "I'm going to bed."

She hopped off the stool and began walking slowly across the living area. She began untying her robe dropped it off her shoulders, walked a few more steps, then dropped the robe to the floor. She stopped and looked back over her shoulder at John. "You coming?", she asked as she continued toward the master.

John's response was to leap from the stool and take off running to join Joss, his soul mate. He then trailed her, happily watching her bare ass twisting seductively as she walked. Unexpectedly, John bent at the waist, grabbed Joss's hips and bit into her left ass cheek as if it were a sun ripened apple. She gasped, pulled away from him even as he soothed the sting with his wetted tongue. Joss then continued her stroll through the bedroom's doorway, the room darkened by Geoffrey just before he left. John was right behind her as they stepped into their private world…

 **A/N: Joss should allow herself to be the tiniest bit pleased. John has opened up to her twice now. Is it enough? Will he continue? Stay tuned and please remember to review. Hugs!**


	10. Chapter 10 Another Corner Turned?

**A/N: This chapter is M-ish, too.**

The next two days continued in a blur and the lovers perfected lazing to an art form. They ate good food, made love, slept, made love, talked, made love, bathed, made love, swam, made love, watched the sun rise, made love, watched the sun set, made love, listened to music, made love, watched tv, made love, then made love some more. They couldn't get enough of each other and had yet to leave the room. Oh, it wasn't always about driving toward the big release. Sometimes it was about the closeness, the intimacy. Speaking to each other without words, in a way that neither had ever spoken to anyone else.

True to his word, John selected and ordered clothing for them for the week one afternoon as Joss napped. Joss seemed to love hers – John had great taste after all, but the clothing was useless as they spent their time either totally naked or naked under the Revel's robes.

Poor Geoffrey and the maids had caught them _in flagrante delicto_ so many times. But he was respectful and professional – tip toeing out of the penthouse once he saw what John and Joss were up to. It was their own damn fault – never leaving the penthouse made it more difficult for the staff to do their jobs. Staff were fond of "The Warrens", nonetheless. The attractive couple always a smile for them, a good morning or good afternoon. Pleases and thank yous. Not being treated like hotel furniture was a wonderful change and they rewarded the Warrens' kindness with excellent service of the kind not extended to previous guests. Extra chocolates, special late-night desserts, extra hotel toiletries, suggestions on things to see and do.

John and Joss had made love on every surface inside the penthouse and outside the penthouse on the terrace. (Joss asked the maids to disinfect the kitchen island and prayed they wouldn't figure out why – but they did.) Tonight, they had made love on the terrace chaise. It began to rain, a drizzle at first, then a more persistent thunderstorm. They were drenched once they finally came indoors, but they resumed on the rug in front of the fireplace which they lit. When they finally finished, they quickly showered, put on robes and were drinking wine in the living area on the couch.

Joss asked John to play the penthouse's baby grand piano for her that night. He reluctantly agreed – it had after all been years and years since he had touched a keyboard.

John sat on the piano stool and stared at the keys for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, he started to play. The melody was slow and haunting, beautiful in its simplicity. Joss thought she recognized it as Liszt, but she wasn't sure. Midway through the dramatic part that had built to a crescendo, John stopped playing, dropped his head into his hands and began to cry. Joss rushed over to him, taking him into her arms, whispering to him, trying to comfort him but at the same time encouraging him to "let it all out".

When his sobbing stopped, she took John's hand and led him to the couch. She got him to stretch out comfortably and rest his head in her lap. She stroked his hair, his shoulders, in silence. At last, he spoke.

"I hate it Joss. They took everything from me, my life, the things I loved, enjoyed doing. Subverted almost anything that was good about me, every skill, every talent. They asked me to do things, made me do things…things that still give me nightmares and cause me to have to hide who and what I have become from the person I love. I'm nothing but a killer. I try to do better, be better, Joss, I do, I will, for you."

Joss remembered some of these or similar words during one of their breakups. She decided to fight this one last time for the man she loved.

"What things, John? What things did you do – were you forced to do?"

"I can't Joss, I can't tell you. You will hate me – I'll lose you."

"You won't lose me – trust me. Tell me, John." She prayed he would choose to free himself.

After a few moments, he began to speak. He told her about when the CIA first recruited him, trained him, then assigned him that nut job Kara as a partner, working for Mark Snow. He explained how he became John Reese. He talked about missions in Europe, Africa, Afghanistan, China, and other parts of the globe. Wet work. He paused at the really bloody parts and searched Joss's eyes for traces of fear and repulsion. Finding none, he resumed. After about an hour, he ended his litany.

"If you want to leave now, I'll understand", he whispered without tears as he had no more to shed. His heart leapt into his throat as he waited to hear the words that would end him.

Joss paused. "You were a soldier John, following orders, and not following orders when you could, when your judgement led you not to. I love you John, you, the little boy who 'manned up' so as not to worry his mother when his Dad died, when he himself needed comfort and care. The you that I saw when you sat in front of me the night we met. The you that risks his life to save others. The you that risked your life to save my son, the you that saved my life so many times, John." Joss took a deep breath. "And besides", she continued, "if I didn't leave your ass over that bitch Zoe, do you really think I would leave you over your service, misguided though it might have been at times due to no fault of your own?"

She smiled sweetly, leaned over and hugged him close. She was still talking to him, he saw her lips moving, but he couldn't hear her. Something was happening to him, had happened. He felt, lighter, somehow. Hopeful - like he felt when he first met Joss. And free…open, and dare he say it…truly loved. Loved by the one person in the world who mattered to him above all others. The feeling was wonderfully indescribable…

John rolled to his back, reached up and touched Joss's face tenderly. "Thank you…thank you so much. You saved me Joss. Saved me from myself and an empty life. You won't regret for 1 more second loving me and having faith in me, Joss. You have my word."

John got to his feet and held out his hand to the woman he loved. She took it and the two walked slowly to the bedroom to begin a new leg of their journey together.

 **A/N: Well! This story of John's and Joss's tale is complete. Looks like John is truly on the road to healing himself. But does Joss trust him? You should read or re-read Not Just Another Day. I am tweaking the first chapter and will re-post to account for some of the happenings in The Beginning of What? I will then continue this story to the remainder of their stay at The Revel. I hope you enjoyed this story. As always, thanks for the reviews and PMs. They are ALWAYS welcome.**


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